Favorite Tub Shot

And So It Begins

Thomas has a plastic fish that squirts water. They all use it in the tub all the time.
But tonight, something was different. Tonight, Thomas squirted water out of the fish, looked up with a huge smile plastered on his face and stated very clearly:

"Fishie make poo poo!"

And then erupted into laughter.
Sigh. I can only imagine the numerous and varied scatological gems that he will impart over the next twenty years.

My Hero

You know those New Yorker cartoon caption contests? Where they draw the cartoon and you come up with the punch line? Well, this is similar. No cartoon, but you get the idea.

Scene: Jack is running out of the bathroom waving... the plunger.
I know, eeeeewwww. But go ahead, guess the dialogue. I mean, just try.

Done? Here's what he really was shouting:
"I is rescue you Mommy, I is rescue you!"

Sigh. It is really, really nice to know that someone is always looking out for me. Jack is like my very own 'drains n pipes' guardian angel; his pants even fall down all the time.

Great Expectations

"Mommy, I think the boys [at preschool] understand about pretty things on Valentine's Day..."

You Know You're A Mom When

- You finally get to that yoga class and unroll your mat... and discover it is covered with Thomas the Tank Engine stickers
- You hear yourself at McDonalds saying things like "No, no, no you are not having any more french fries until you eat all of that cheeseburger!"
And then you realize: I am eating at McDonalds.

You Know How To Make Nemo Bubbles, Don't You?

"You just put your lips together and blow..."
Part 2 of Anna's "Channeling Screen Legends" series.

What Is A Sit-In?

A sit-in is what happens when one of your children sits down on the corner of 84th Street and Riverside and refuses to move. This generally occurs when you have three children and they are all with you, you have no stroller (or more importantly, no straps), and your child is not happy about leaving the park.

A putsch is what happens when his twin brother joins him on the ground.

Martial law is what is Mommy imposes in order to drag everyone back home.

Style Is...

When you can't decide which dress to wear on a playdate (the one with stripes or the one with ruffly sleeves?), but you get dressed anyway.

And you come downstairs, and Mommy asks "Anna, are you wearing two dresses?"
And you say: "Yes, I couldn't decide which one so I just decided to wear them both."

How Do You Know You're About To Hear Ancient Wisdom?

Well, that's easy.
When Anna begins her reply to you with: "Like horsie's grandmother always says..."
Then you know you're about to hear some ancient wisdom.

Au Salon

Tutu Day: Some Common Misconceptions

So. Ballet.
3- and 4- year old ballet at Discovery Programs in New York City, in particular. In 3- and 4- year old ballet you do not get to wear your tutu every day. No, no, no.
You save the tutu for two performances each semester. For the Fall 2007 semester, one of those performances was today.

Given that she is not allowed to wear her tutu every Wednesday morning with the rest of her outfit, you can imagine how excited Anna gets about these days.

And so it was that she appeared naked and in a tutu at the bottom of the stairs this morning, all ready to throw on her winter coat and hat and head out to the studio.
Thomas, on the other hand, was incredibly disappointed to realize that "tutu day" had absolutely nothing to do with trains. Or the sound they make.

Did I mention that brothers attended this recital, too?
Here they are, flat on their backs.
Jack's comment: "I must dance! I must dance!"
Thomas' impression: "Snack! Snack!"

Until today, I had never considered the the usefulness of the camera bag strap as a restraining device.

When Not To Go Into A Toy Store With Kids

That would be right after Christmas.
When, after reviewing both their 'take' and that of their friends, they finally are aware of all the things they didn't get but really need.
That are available for purchase.

I had to go into a toy store to buy a baby gift. Anna was with me.
She immediately saw the paint-it-yourself horse model kit. (Imagine: A pink coat! A purple mane! Wow!) She really wanted this.

I told her that we weren't going to buy anything; we just had Christmas and she got lots of presents. Her response:
[teenage exasperated explanation voice] "Mommy! Christmas isn't about presents..."

Jack's Ting-Ting

Here it is! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

As I was writing this post the Halloween season was upon us. Which of course obligated us to celebrate by making sugar cookies (and no small mess) in our buddies' grandmother's kitchen.

Throwing flour? Eating raw dough? Not Jack's thing.
He liked the rolling pin.

Happy Birthday Papa

Yes, it's December 29th. The kids made you no less than three cakes.
Out of pegs. (Gotta stay thin, ha ha ha....)

All That You Can't Leave Behind

We went to Rochester for Christmas. But more on that later.
I asked Anna to help me out by packing her bag.

[Ten minutes later]
Anna: "Mommy, I'm done. I packed my dresses."
Mommy: "Really? All of them?"
Anna: "No! [scoffing as only a 4-year old can]... Just the pretty ones."

Wow, I'm That Mom, Too

You know: the one whose kid ruins the Christmas group photo.
Note Thomas in the shadows all the way to the right in the middle, above Anna. He started out on the couch like everyone else. As soon as the cameras were raised, he decided to get up and sit just a bit farther away.

And in case you were wondering, this is The Porcelli Family: (roughly) The Fourth Generation.

(This holiday season has certainly taught me a lot about myself, no?)

Look Who's Talking Now

Uh, that would be Jack.
He is also always listening. Which is possibly more disconcerting.
But the good news is I think he is going to be a fairly witty conversationalist. Some examples:

• Jack after oh-so-obviously peeing in the bathtub:
  "Mine potty here."
  
• Jack after discovering a rash on his tummy:
  "I pink, Mommy! I pink!"
• Jack after twirling around in a circle while imitating Anna:
  "House spinning, Mommy, house spinning."
• Jack after Tommy has stolen his pretzel:
  "Mine pretzel is in Tommy's mouth!"
• Jack, after being told we are out of chocolate milk:
  "Buy More!"
• Jack, after listening to Mommy say "He's such a boy!" when Thomas tackled him to get a train:
  [With perfect timing, from the bottom of the scrum...] "He's such a bad boy."
• Jack, getting impatient with Mommy at breakfast time:
  "I big boy I pour Grape Nuts."
  
• Jack, on a long car ride during which only Anna was allowed to hold the portable DVD player:
  "No DVD! Only com-pu-ter! No DVD!"
• Jack, using a shoelace to lead Tommy, who is on all fours and biting the other end of the shoelace:
  "Go horse go! Bite it! Eat it! Go!"
  
• Jack, running with shoelace:
  "Tie Mommy up! Tie Mommy up!"

And he's also very, very sweet:
[pointing at me] "Dis is my Mommy!"
[pointing at me] "I like dis Mommy!"

'Twas The Night After Christmas

I put Anna to bed.
"Mommy, aren't there 12 days of Christmas? So this was only the second one?"

You Got Big Dreams? You Want Fame?

Well fame costs.
And right here is where you start paying--in sweat.

[Back in the 80s, I really loved that show.]

This is where it all began.
The "little Gingers" featured in Discovery Programs' performance of the Nutcracker on December 9th in New York City? Think that came easy?

Think. again.

Popcorn Night Gone Too Far

"Mommy, can we put sticks in the middle of our rug and make a fire?"