While Shopping for My Sons At Claire's...

Wait! Did I just write that out loud?

Ah, well. It's true: Jack and Thomas love beaded necklaces. They have a daily fight over the green sparkly one. Yes, it's always Mardi Gras around here...

(And don't think this is a 'just Jack' thing. Thomas is heavily involved in this, too. He, however, tends to opt for the single strand of fake pearls. Timeless. Classic.)

File This Under 'Act Natural'

Make no mistake: this is the level of drama we bring to every situation.

Born In The USA

Springsteen album cover?
Nah, it's just Jack.
I discovered him trying to stick the Princess Ariel clamshell phone into his diaper.
Not down it, mind you, just into it.

As if he was wearing one of those phone cases that you clip to your belt.
Just like Jenny does. Just like Diana does.
But they wear a belt (or at least pants).
And they also have a case.

Details, details.

First and Ten

Yet another purple-leopard-print-headbanded phenom to throw into next year's Heisman mix...

In Hot Pursuit

Thomas. A duck.

Scene From An Elevator

The Jamisons enter the elevator on the 17th Floor.
The elevator door closes.

Thomas yells 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh', runs to the back of the elevator, grabs the railing, and begins his gymnastics routine.
Jack attempts to ram the closed doors with his baby stroller. And again. And again.
Anna guards the elevator buttons, taking (loving) swipes at her brother's heads whenever they get close enough to threaten her absolute control.

The elevator door opens on the 6th Floor.
The young man and woman waiting to get on quickly assess the situation and decide they really need to go back to their apartment for something...

Tall/Grande/Vente Explained

That's right Anna, little sheep are called 'lambs'.
Just like little humans are called babies. And big humans are called adults.

[pause. Anna thinks about all this.]

"And medium humans are called big sisters!"

Gardening In The Urban Jungle

Nobody ever promised that it wouldn't involve a few risks (trowel to the cranium, flipping over a guardrail or two...)

I Want My MTV

The TV in our family room has not been working properly for a while.
The familial stress caused by it going blank in the middle of another Blues Clues (just as Joe had gotten a letter, no less) was simply too great. We had to get a new one.
So the men from the Hi-Fi store came.
They had to first take down the old TV so they could put the new one in its place.

As soon as Jack saw them start to lift that TV off the wall, he pointed, yelled, and ran at them with Elgin-Marble-theft-like indignation. He kept shouting "D! D!" (his sort of combo word for TV and DVD) and looking at me, astonished that I was letting these guys get away with this.

We were all relieved when, a few minutes later, the new one was lifted into its place.

The Doctor Is -- In --

Come one, come all. Lately, Anna has had an answer for everything. The following are some of her words of wisdom.
For free.

General

• I told Anna she needed to try to go to the bathroom before she went out to the park. She told me it wasn't necessary, that she would just pee in the park by a tree.
  
  Ignoring the obvious approach here, I tried a different tack: I reminded her that if she peed in the park she wouldn't have any privacy, and did she really want everyone watching her while she peed?
  The answer:
  "Well... I can just look away
  [dramatic sweep of her right palm upwards]
  and put up my stop hand."
  
  
• I asked Anna why she had stepped right on my purse, which was, in fact, on the floor. She told me it was because "I hadn't put it away properly".
  
  
• Anna ran up to me and told me that she was going to give me a sticker for participating. I asked her what 'participating' means. She told me
  "Participating means doing what your teacher says."
  
  
• With the bathtub letters, Anna made the word h-a-m and then sounded it out.
  Then babysitter Anna asked little Anna what ham is.
  "Hmmnn, ham... it's a kind of bologna."
  
  
• Anna, why won't you eat your corn? You love corn. You like corn muffins, right?
  "Well... I like a little bit of corn, and a little bit of muffin."
  
  
• Anna, why is the bathroom floor wet? Did you have an accident?
  "That's not pee, it's muck. Muck is a kind of water that is very dirty and lives on the floor."
  

Fashion

• Anna, why do you only wear dresses? You need to start wearing some of your skirts.
  "But dresses are more beautiful for me!"

• Anna and Tommy are playing with the trains.
  Anna has one of the people that sit in the train cars.
  Tommy is crying. Anna took his train.
  I tell Anna she can't take the train that Tommy is using.
  "But Mommy, I need a train with a seat that matches his outfit!"

Existential

• "Mommy, can the meat talk because it's taco (aka talk-o) meat?"
  
  
• Anna and I saw a photo of Bompa (great grandpa). Anna told me Bompa was with her other "die friends"--Great Grandma and her fish.
  
  
• After a reflective pause:
  "Mommy, you need a new Grandma and I need a new fish!"