From the Four Year Old Who Knows Everything

Some vacation pearls of wisdom:

• Anna and Jack are having some discussion about cat ownership. I tune them out. Then I hear this:
  "... it's because the vegetarian doesn't put the claws back in ..."
• I notice Anna pulling and twisting Jack's hair with both hands and I point this out to her.
  "Aw Mom... I was just making antenna-s!"
• "Hey Mom, you found your sweater. So... does it sweat?"
  [Cue peals of laughter]
  

It's OK, Jack

"We'll make China by sundown. I just know it."

A Fool's Gold Is Neither Food Nor Fashion

So This is how I found Anna one sunny afternoon in Florida.
So I asked her what she was digging for. She told me "treasure".
So I asked her what treasure is.
And she told me:
"Oh, necklaces and cake and cupcakes with frosting and candy and chocolate..."

I am, however, left trying to imagine the pirate who buried such a booty.

Archimedes: Problem Number One

OK, then.
Get the floating body into the water...

Things Thomas Is Good At

Let's see:

• Discovering that Jack will get upset when he dumps a handful of rocks down the front of Jack's shirt.
• Discovering that Jack will get upset when he dumps multiple buckets of water over Jack's head during bath time.
• Discovering the cool sound that is made when he bangs his bike helmet into Jack's bike helmet as they ride along behind Mommy in their "carriage".

Thomas is really a boy's boy. The child is 24/7 mischief, with the grin to back it up.

Spring Is In The Air

That's right: the birds!... the bees!... the elevated pollen count! Truly a magical time of rebirth.

On a more specific note, I have one two year old who won't stop laying on his back on the floor underneath my skirt and another one who takes every opportunity to talk about "breast-es-es".
(I have two, he wants me to have one. I have big ones, his are too small.)

Lovely.

The 2 1/2 Year Old Checkup

Yep, it was that time again. Time to have someone prod and poke enough to convince me that my children (the male variety, at least) are healthy. But looking back, I probably didn't need that. I probably should have guessed this when:

• Jack tried to convince me that we didn't need to go to the doctor with the old "But we have doctor in our apartment..." routine. Oh yes - that would be Fisher Price, M.D and his big red toolkit. But a nice try nonetheless.
• While waiting (nearly naked) in the exam room, Jack couldn't get enough of sticking his head in the "doggie door"-style garbage can opening in the cupboard below the sink.
• While waiting (nearly naked) in the exam room during the time I was extracting Jack from the trash, Thomas climbed up on the doctor's stool (you know, the one with neither back support nor restraining straps that swivels and rolls) and gave me the "I is doctor you, Mommy" routine while trying to jab his fingers in my eyeballs as I lunged to grab him.
• While waiting (nearly naked) in the exam room, Jack thought Thomas was onto something and (flashing his 'hose grin' as he advanced) made his scissors fingers and let me know that "It's OK, I just need to cut you first..." .
  Where is he getting this stuff from, you ask? That's right--his sister.
• And finally, after showing minimal interest in the bathroom up until this historic visit to the doctor, they both decided they wanted to use the bathroom. At the same time.
  Let's just say that one escaped (completely naked) and surprised a few people waiting in the exam rooms.
  

But the good news is they still managed to charm Dr Brandes and their "curves look good". Vital stats: 34" each, Thomas 30.5 lbs, Jack 28.5 lbs. Stay tuned for the 3-year old visit...

Just Two Minutes After This Photo Was Taken

I experienced the rare triple play:

- One brother suddenly feels sick and throws up
- In response, the other brother also throws up

[Mommy freaks out, gets everyone to the relative safety of the kitchen's tile floor, and strips everyone completely. Including diapers. I felt a small pang of (reverse? negative?) intuition when I did this, but as Jack had just thrown up again and Anna had started to gag it quickly disappeared.

- In response, brother #2 pees all over the floor.

Look at those faces! Could you have seen this storm coming?