Naked. Escalation.

I have no idea where she gets this stuff from.

Anna and Thomas are playing. Or trying to. And then I hear:
"Thomas, if you do that again you are going in timeout!"

I decide not to even look; from the sound of things, no limbs appear to be in imminent danger of snapping off, after all.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
A few moments later:
"Thomas! If you do that again, YOU ARE GOING RIGHT TO BED!"

Stay the course. They need to learn to work things out themselves, after all. Right? Right.
It's pretty late, after all.
Bed time isn't far away, even. YAY!
I mean, right....

Moments later:
I hear the telltale "AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh!" from Anna, followed by a thud, followed by:
"THOM-ASSSSS!"
[And yes, it comes out that way when she's mad]
And then:
"If you do that again, you are going to bed.... " "... ahhhhh... ahhhh..." [pause]

I know this pause.
I am familiar with this pause.
This is the several second pause that ensues while you rack your brain trying to find some kind of threat just evil enough to get him to do what you want, but not so evil that some higher, nobler, and likely completely unrealistic moral belief (or in her case, her Mom), won't get in the way of you carrying it out.

Here's what she came up with:
".... If you do that again, you are going to bed...
WITHOUT ANY PAJAMAS!"

We all gasped as one.

Should I Be Concerned?

Naaaaahhhhhh.
I mean, they look happy. That's all you can really ask for, right?

Anna is thrilled. She is now beginning to sense the full extent of her true power over her brothers.

Let us hope she chooses to harness that power for the good of men's ready-to-wear designers everywhere.

Swimming Lessons

So the boys have started their swimming lessons. So far they can put their heads in the water and blow bubbles, kick using the kickboard, lie on their backs and

Oh, geez. Gotta take this.
It's Hef! (again)

He wants his robes back for when the grandkids visit the mansion. Not to mention Mini-Me.

He's going to have to deal with Jack on this one, however...

Random Shout-Outs

Courtesy of Tommy.
If you are in our apartment, don't be too surprised to hear:

"heeeeeeyyyyy, macarena!" or
"here we go Tigers, here we go. woo! woo!"

shouted at the top of his lungs once every hour or so. Especially if he is on the way to the bathroom, or just after finishing a meal. I think they give him strength or something.

Just So You Know

Jack's three favorite words right now are torpedo, booby trap, and drawbridge.
He's not a violent or aggressive child, really. Just well prepared to defend.

So I've been thinking about the fact that Michelangelo designed the fortifications for Rome during its war with Florence.
And so I keep monitoring Jack's artwork (currently stick figure-based) for signs of bulging musculature, or even Mommy and Daddy inscribed inside a circle or a square. Or even just one of us. In some kind of blob.

Nothing yet...

It Has Been A Long, Long Break, eh?

I don't think I had ever missed a month before, and here almost one and a half have gone by. Things have been busy.

But no worries--while I may not have been blogging, I am still writing everything down and plan on doing some massive posting during vacation time this summer. I also have some great photos. So bear with me... it's coming. I won't let this go.

Tactics

Jack, trying to avoid having his diaper changed:
"I got gas Mommy."
Oh.

Thomas, trying to avoid anything he doesn't particularly want to do:
"It's too spicy."
As in:

• Thomas, do you want to use the blue train instead of the yellow one?
  "No. It's too spicy."
• Thomas, do you want to watch Sesame Street?
  "No. Too spicy."
• Thomas, are you going to eat your corn?
  "No. It's too spicy."
  

I have no idea what 'spicy' actually means to this kid.
But I think it would be really, really funny to try his technique for a day and see what happens.

Optical Delusions

• Me: "Jack, why are you eating with your eyes closed?"
  "I hiding, Mommy!"
  

• Jack, doing something he should not be doing:
  "Close your eyes, Mommy. I don't want to see you."
  

Great.
I can just picture the CAT scan with the "unapologetic believer in his ability to disappear and walk through walls" part of the brain lit up like a Christmas tree. And here I was hoping to avoid the Green Lantern underoos phase.
Hopefully he'll grow out of this by the time he's 3. or 12.

It Isn't Love

...unless your eyeballs pop out.

But we've known that for some time now.

Should I Be Concerned?

Dinner time. Anna is fidgeting like crazy. I am sure she is going to fall off of her chair.
I ask her what's going on. Does something hurt?

"No Mommy, there's just music in my head and it's makin' me shake!"
Hmmmn. I have no idea how to respond to this.

And then out comes the most rousing rendition of Ba Ba Black Sheep I have ever heard.
(And let me tell you: I have attended a lot of preschooler music classes.)

A different dinner time. Anna is finishing her dinner.
Anna is thinking. And then:
"Mommy, my tummy is REALLY big and I just heard a 'Neigh'!"
[from inside of it]

Have I mentioned that Anna really, really wants a horse?

Jack Talks Back

The first installment of what I am coming to believe will be a long and ongoing series.

• Jack, here's your water.
  "I want cold water Mommy."
  Jack, that water is cold. I just got it from the refrigerator.
  "It's not cold Mommy. It's just... normal."
  
  
• Jack! Don't put that hose around your neck!
  "Its OK Mommy, it's my seatbelt."
  
  
• "Tommy is MY little brother. I GROWED!"
  

This Just In

"Mommy!
Did you know there is a meal
called dessert
in the middle of the night
that we keep missing???"

Ever the problem solver in these difficult times, Anna quickly drafted and announced a three point plan that includes:

• cupcakes
• after lunch
• every day

as a way of addressing this situation.

Anna: Big Box Retailing

"It's like an apartment that sells things and nobody lives in..."
You heard it here, kids. Isaac Mizrahi will not be cool forever.

Culture Shock

Ah, memories of our first big attempt at the Met with all three. I love that the boys look like their heads are going to explode. We lasted about 50 minutes.

Highlights include Thomas almost pushing Jack into the Temple of Dendur's pool. I think Thomas was worried that someone else's kid might make it under the rope and into the water and scoop up all those pennies before he had a chance.
But no, mine was the only one that really seemed to be trying.

I Believe This Conversation Went Something Like

"YOU Dirty!"
"NO! YOU Dirty!"
"No no! YOU Dirtier!"
And so on.

Isn't it great they're getting older and more able to express themselves?