Culture Shock

Ah, memories of our first big attempt at the Met with all three. I love that the boys look like their heads are going to explode. We lasted about 50 minutes.

Highlights include Thomas almost pushing Jack into the Temple of Dendur's pool. I think Thomas was worried that someone else's kid might make it under the rope and into the water and scoop up all those pennies before he had a chance.
But no, mine was the only one that really seemed to be trying.

I Believe This Conversation Went Something Like

"YOU Dirty!"
"NO! YOU Dirty!"
"No no! YOU Dirtier!"
And so on.

Isn't it great they're getting older and more able to express themselves?

Why Unicorns Are White. And A Corollary.

(Or at least, why pretend unicorns are always white.)

"Because unicorns eat cucumbers.
Inside cucumbers it is white.
The white explodes out to their skin."

Hmmm, OK, I follow that.
But what about the skin of the cucumber? That's not white.

"Well... the green is the unicorn poo."

Oh.

So Mommy Took A Trip

to her friend Lilly's wedding in Arizona. Gwammy came to stay while I was gone.
The kids were excited for Gwammy to come. I was excited that they were excited.
I also wanted them to behave.
Which led to this little cheer at dinner the night before I was to leave:

Me to the kids [in cheerleader voice]: "So, guys, how are we going to act when Gwammy gets here???"
[...dramatic pause...]
Anna, right on cue: "GOOD! We're going to act GOOD!"

My heart swelled. Yes! This was going to be great. Fine, even.
All right! Now let me follow that up with a big positive-reinforcing YAY! and then we'll...

Anna:"... and then a little bit crazy once she leaves."

Yeah, she's totally got this Mommy going away thing down.
Which also leads to phone conversations where, immediately after sniffling and telling me how much she misses me she composes herself just enough to pitifully inquire:
"...uh, Mommy... are you looking for some special things for us...?"

As hard as it is to be "on call" for them all the time, it was much tougher to be away. I missed them so much. I'm glad A was there with some material girl-esque comic relief.
And just as soon as I recovered from the double ear infections that I got when my ears didn't unplug on the flight home and the kids' leftover pink eye I picked up the day I returned to NYC, I was very very glad to be back.

Dem Bones Dem Bones

Lately, Anna has been interested in bones. So we read a book about the bones in our body. She liked the page that showed a full skeleton. She knew where the skull was, and saw some long arm bones.

And then she continued down the anatomy:
"And then there's the butt bone..."
"And the two butt cheek bones...."
Just like they teach it in med school, no doubt.

A few days later she was in the bath staring at Jack's back.
"Mommy, what are all these little mountains that go down to Jack's butt?"
I believe she was referring to his spine.

Did I mention how much I love the poetic value inherent in "little mountains that go down to his butt..."?
I feel as though some kind of 'native American chiropractor' joke would be appropriate right now, but I don't have one.

Anna's First Real Joke

Mommy wiping Thomas' nose:
"Wow T... look at this mess. What is going on? Look at all these boogers!"

Anna:
"Yeah, it's like... Grand Central Boogers in there!"

See?
Come on! That's pretty witty for a four year old.

Thomas' Got a Brand New Game

Anna: "Thomas, what's you favorite color: red or yellow?"
Thomas: [hesitates. looks around. rolls his eyes up. hesitates again. smiles.] "Train."

Anna: "Thomas! What is your favorite color?!"
Thomas: [same routine: hesitate. eyes. hesitate. smile] "Mommy."

Anna: "Thomas! TELL ME your favorite color!"
Thomas: [completely in control. just waits. grins.] "Boat."

And on and on and on and on.

Raising Mike Mulligan (or MaryAnne)

Anna pulling Thomas (on all fours with a tape measure in his mouth):
"I'm bringing Thomas to the new town hall where he is going to live tonight."

Well. At least she seems to be willing to let him leave after one night.

Au Cafe

Sigh.
It's not a bad life, eh?

C-A-N-D-Y, Mommy! Candy!

That is all Jack could utter in the midst of his sugar-coated joy.
That would be a sweet tart in Jack's mouth. He got it out of an egg at the Easter Egg hunt in Central Park. Hopefully his own.

It was his first sweet tart ever.

Speed 2: The Lost Audition

It's a shame; I think Anna could really have helped that movie live up to its potential.
Wait, I think it actually did.

We ran into (and from) a cruise ship departing New York City for sunnier shores. I was amazed at how nimble the ship was; it basically swiveled around in it's own footprint in the middle of the Hudson.

As you can see, we were all a bit shocked by the size.
Also how close it got to "shore".

True Life: I Am Raising Punky Brewster

I have to say, this photo doesn't even really do her justice.

Stripes on the arms, different stripes on the legs, a floral print skirt layered over the cropped pants with slightly too-big Sanibel Island T-shirt to top things off? That's tame. I mean, here she at least stuck to her standard pink/purple combo.

Just a few hours earlier while walking to school she had accesorized with her blue rubber dolphin boots, a green sweater w/hood sticking out from underneath her blue dolphin raincoat, and a knitted pink winter hat. With ear flaps.
Trust me: if there had been a wide leather belt or leg warmers at her disposal she would have found a way to work those in, too.

Anna is a multi-layered, multi-patterned fashion powerhouse. Maybe she gets it from her stylist?

Bernanke: Problem Number One (Or A Bit After That)

[Remember Jack Nicholson's "You can't handle the truth!"? Right. The following should be read like that.]

I don't have time for the little slot!
Now how am I really supposed to get these coins into the bank?


This is Part Two of Tommy's "Solving First Problems" series. Interested in Part One?

[OK, ok this is nerdy and a bit of a stretch but hey I love that. Time will tell, however, if it is actually funny.]

The 3AM Phone Call

Well, not exactly. More like 11:15AM.
But still: it was my first phone call from an institution where I had left any of my children that began with "Ms. Jamison, your son [Thomas]..."

While the facts are still a bit murky, it seems Thomas took a tumble from one of the higher vantage points of the indoor climbing apparatus and ended up with his first bloody nose. He is totally fine.

I did get the sense that no one actually saw what happened, however, so I figured I might as well ask my other two-year old who is in the same class. I mean, if you're going to have twins, you might as well take advantage of it, eh?

And here is what Jack said:
"Tommy is tryin' grabbing me...Tommy is tryin' grabbing me...Tommy is tryin' grabbing me..."
Over and over and over. And over and over. And he is sticking to his story.
I am thinking there may have been a helpful shove involved in all this.

You Talking To Me?

Huh? Tough Guy?

Hi, We're Horsie Tape Measure

That's what she said into her train whistle microphone as I walked into the living room.
The facts are clear: Anna and Jack are in a band. They are a band.
And they gave that band a great name.

Regular readers will be familiar with Anna's love of horses; less well known is Jack's obsession with the tape measure. He drags that thing everywhere.

And he definitely looks good with a guitar in his hand, eh? Let the record show: I always knew that Jack was a rocker (scroll down after you click). And I am psyched. I can't wait to be the 60-year old super cool mom backstage at the Live Aid Concert.

Hey, Guess What?

Jack has a job.
Yes, that's right. A job.
Isn't that great?

What does he do?
He works for Anna. He's her personal stylist.
Isn't that great?

Every morning when Anna is ready to get dressed, she asks Jack to come upstairs and help her pick out her things for the day. They go up there, he sits in her pink chair and she closes the door. Then the two of them collaborate on the outfit. Jack's palette is almost completely purple (with stripes if possible. Jack LOVES stripes.) and Anna's is almost totally pink, so what they end up with usually looks somewhat reasonable.

Diffrent Soaps

Me: "Jack! Don't put that in your mouth! You can't brush your teeth with soap! You can't eat that!"

Anna clicks the switch on her Strawberry Shortcake electric toothbrush. The bristles stop churning. She composes her 'thoughtful face'.
"But Mommy, aren't there germs inside our bodies?"

Me: "What? Well... yeah. Right. Remember? The white blood cells--the 'Dr-Fix-It cells'--they help fight the germs--Thomas! ah! --germs make us sick--our body fights germs--AH! no boats in the toilet!..."

Anna: "So then wouldn't eating the soap... "

Right. At this point Mommy finally picks up the oh-so-logical trail of breadcrumbs.