Out For A Stroll

Yes, my boys were the ones who insisted on going for a walk like this.

But if I had known that they were going to strike such Queen Elizabeth-like poses, I never, ever would have allowed the Hello Kitty and zebra print bags to leave the apartment. I kept expecting the corgis to trot up the subway steps.

Jack can say iPod!

Two syllables! Yay!
He also understands the purpose and de-activation of the 'Hold' slider.
Can't you just imagine my (Disney- and Pixar- based) 'On-The-Go' playlist?

Almost as exciting, Jack will now combine two words to form a, uh... sentence. Notable examples:
- Ommy, fall!
- Jack, spoon!
- Anna, horse!

And don't worry: Tommy is making progress on this as well. On Sunday Jack was in timeout and Thomas ran up to him and said:
"Jack. No no no no no!"

Six words, no less.

The Papparazi

Can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

Anna, How Do You Make New Friends?

Anna and I were setting up a bunch of little plastic animals, and she mentioned that the animals were making new friends. So I decided to ask her how that is done.

"Well, first you say hi and then you tell them your name and then they say their's
and then you follow them..."

It's Not All Glamour

I may look adorable, but I sit in trash baskets just like everyone else does.

Sacre bleu!

What are you doing here, reading web pages?
Why are you not watching the greatest bike race in the world?
Turn off your computer!
Find a TV!
Allez! Vive la France!

The One-Martini Playdate

Me: "OK Anna, I'm going to put you to bed and then I'm going out with the other mommies from preschool. We're having a Mommy playdate."

Anna: "Well... are you going to the park or to eat or have a snack or just a drink?"

Me: "Oh no, it won't be very long, we're just going to have a drink."

Anna: "Well... is it going to be a big drink all filled up or one with just a little bit?"

Religion, Conquistador-style

Anna and I were playing "pretend" with her horse, Baby Jaguar. She asked me if I would go to church with her and Baby Jaguar. I said sure.

Once we were comfortably settled on the other couch with Baby Jaguar on her lap (snugly roped into his old-school shoelace & washcloth 'Baby Bjorn') I asked her what goes on at this church.

She smiled and told me we were going to "see some God and get some treasure!"
and then grabbed her dress-up jewelry bin
and proceeded to distribute the goods amongst the three of us.


Well. At least she shared, right?

At Arm's Length: A Triptych

Friends, Cold Cuts, Soybeans

To Jack, your name is all the same.
Whether Jack wants salami or edamame, he calls for his "ami".
Also, of course, when he wants his brother.
In which case I imagine the proper spelling is something more like "ommy".

Anna Jaguar

... or, the preschooler formerly known as Anna Jamison.

Here's the thought process:
(1) Baby Jaguar from Diego is Anna's favorite thing right now.
(Replacing Princesses, which replaced Blue, which replaced Nemo if you're keeping track at home).
(2) Anna has a friend in school whose last name is 'Tiger'.

It didn't take Anna very long into a seven hour car trip in a car with no DVD player and only her horse stuffed animal (who is now a Jaguar, by the way) readily accessible by her side to put those two together. If her friend can have a cool last name, why can't she?

Abolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

The first photo is way, way, way too 'Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms Junior Auxiliary' for my liking.

Jack, Jack, Jack.
Give the boy a hose and he turns into a complete dictator.
And he enjoys it.
Note the clenched teeth, note the forward thrust of the jaw. Try to avert your eyes from the exposed veins in his neck. If this was real life, the sound you would be hearing now is the (slightly creepy, I'll admit) humming noise he makes while whisking the hose from side to side and blowing away another tennis ball, or bug, or big sister.

In my opinion, he's on the fast track to Law and Order fame.
As a cop, OK?

The Dentist Appointment

Earlier this week I took Anna to the dentist for the first time.
(Yes, I am embarrassed that it took so long for this to happen.)

But nonetheless: everything is just fine, and this despite the fact that the dentist explained to me that giving your kids raisins for a snack and not having them brush immediately afterwards is much, much closer to packing their teeth in sugar every night than I had ever imagined. Note to self.

But just as interesting as my raisin education was the concept of a pediatric dentist.
'Pediatric' in this sense is defined as:
(1) health care professional who has TV screens on the ceiling. So that your child can watch Dora, or Thomas the Tank Engine, or Ariel, or just about any other Nickelodeon- or Disney- based creation while being worked on with invasive metallic tools. And, secondly,
(2) health care professional who will not let your child be bothered by that oppressive light they turn on right above your face. Someone who provides a selection of plastic sunglasses in shades of pink, green, and blue to wear while being worked on with invasive metal tools.

This dentist was very nice.
While his assistant was doing the initial work, he wandered over to me and asked for some family dental "practices and history". This is when I got the bad news about raisins.
I told him about my braces. I went on record with the number of cavities I have and the fact that I am not such a great flosser.

But mark my words: no matter how many Princess stickers and Diego tooth brushes he offers to Anna (she had a fabulous time there, by the way),
I will NEVER
EVER
EVER
admit to the headgear.

Uncle Sam and Princess Anna

Anna went to Brownstone summer camp on July 3rd. She came home and told me:

"Mommy, tomorrow is the birthday of our country."
[pause.]
"Mommy, why does our country have a birthday?"
[Brief talk about birthdays in general, and their application to countries specifically]
"Oh."

"Well, we learned about fireworks!"
Really, Anna? What did you learn about fireworks?

"They are red, pink, and blue..."

--

Patriotism side note: Anna has been enjoying the "Yankee Doodle" song on her Disney Classics CD. Favorite line--
"I'm a Yankee Doodle Can't See, Yankee Doodle do or die..."

Questions I Get A Lot

- difference between a leopard and a jaguar
- difference between a chimpanzee and an orangatang
- why do bees sting
- why does the earth rotate
- where do oxen live
- why do horses sleep standing up

We're In Good Hands

Thomas -
the Atlas impersonation.

Then... and Now

Then
A few days ago I was doing some filing and came across and old file tab that had fallen to the bottom of the drawer. (Doesn't this happen all the time to you?) Anyway, on it I had written:

BABY - instructions, manuals, registrations

This struck me as extremely funny.

(I am sure that this was written circa spring 2003, during those earnest months before Anna was born when I was must have been extremely concerned about things like locating manuals and making sure we had registered our purchase of the changing table.)

BABY - instructions, manuals, registrations.

Yeah. If only.

Now...
In the last three days, I have been
thrown up on (Tommy not feeling well)
peed on (Jack--my lap--overtaxed swim diaper)
and
pooed on (a bird in Hippo park).

Ah, the bird part: I was standing under the leafy canopy of branches that give Hippo park such great shade, watching the boys play in the water, and all of a sudden some kid threw a ball and hit me in the head.

Only it wasn't a ball, and there was no kid.
Looking up, I saw the bird still sitting there on the branch. Much relieved, evidently.

Quick: Name the Parental Units

Why, Dan Akroyd & Jane Curtin, of course.