No More Fish Clothes!!!

As Captain Kirk would say, that is your Prime Directive, at least as far as Anna is concerned.

Mommy is thankful for and very much appreciates all the fish clothes that everyone has thoughtfully searched out and given Anna. But I reserve the right to make her wear white shirts with lots of lace and frilly pink dresses and tights with flowers on them! And having fishie clothes around makes that so, so much more difficult...

So here's the plan: Anna knows and accepts that since she turned three she is a big girl now. I have seized this opportunity and managed to convince her that for some strange, unknown reason the merchandising-industrial complex refuses to make clothes with fishes on them for "big girls".

In other words: the current, last batch of fishie clothes that she is wearing now is the last that will ever fit her. EVER!

So please don't give her any more, OK? (But we absolutely thank you for what she has...)

Anna Got A Phone

for her birthday from her friend Cole.

She's been calling lots of people: Caroline, both Grandmas, Mommy, Jill's Mommy, Jack and Thomas, Cole, Jenny's daughter, and on and on.

The other day she was finishing up a conversation with Grandma. As usual, she finished with: "I love you. Bye bye."
Pause.
Then I heard this:

"I don't know why you say Goodbye, I say Hello..."

The Beatles. Yes, the Beatles.
She didn't sing it, mind you, she just spoke it.
I could hardly contain myself.

It is as if we've done something to her mind with that Beatles CD! I had this sudden urge to play it backwards and find out what is really going on... Can you even do that with a CD?

Thomas Is a Lizard. Loves Diapers. Maniac Bather. So Worth It.

Part I

Thomas loves to use his tongue. He is constantly licking things. An abbreviated list:

• the tub faucet
• my forearm
• the front door doorstop
• the refrigerator (inside and outside)
• any available toes
• the trash drawer handle
• the plastic shutter on the play house in the playroom
  
• random plastic balls we find at the playground
  
• Dr. Brandes' stethoscope tube
• Jack's hair
  
• abolutely ANY piece of food you give him before it has any chance of going in his mouth.
  

Part II

He is also obsessed with diapers. I have caught him several times crawling up behind Jack when Jack is standing and trying to pull Jack's diaper down. I think he likes the cartoon on the back or something.

(And for our readers who just had to know: yep, he did get a handful of something squishy once. Totally gross.)

A few days ago, while I was changing Jack on the floor, Thomas decided to crawl over and sit between my legs while I was finishing up. He sat there quietly and watched me pull the front of the diaper up through Jack's legs and attach each of the tabs.
Then he reached out and undid one of the tabs. I was surprised and impressed, but didn't think much of it.

Until the next day when I see him crawling around without a diaper on. For a moment I thought: oh my god, this kid *is* a genius! After just one lesson he can take his diaper off!
But then I found the diaper.
I'm not sure if he originally tried to take the time undo the tabs, but he ended up just tearing the thing in two parts in order to free himself.

Less about brilliance, more about exhibitionism.

Part III

Thomas taking a bath reminds me of a line in that 80s (classic) Hall & Oates song:

"[He's] a maniac, maniac I'm sure"

Because he is out of control. He wants to stand up and we won't let him. And so he decides to just do a backbend straight into the water until he gets free of us, then roll from side to side while lying in thewater. He squirms and splashes and puts his face in the water and just doesn't care. He requires 4 hands to bathe him.

Poor Jack generally just sits there with this knowing look on his face, musing wistfully about the calm, relaxing bath he had hoped to take.


IV Yin and Yang.

Thomas can be a rough boy. He throws things, he bangs things. He clearly wants things to MAKE LOUD NOISES! But then, his best move by far is his "head butt of love", when he crawls up to you and pushes the top of his head into some part of your body. Adorable.
I saw him do this to Jack for the first time yesterday.
Even though I could hear the bonk as their two heads collided, Jack still smiled. Tommy smiled back. It was adorable.

Tales From The Potty

(The squeamish amongst our readers would do well to avert their eyes now.)

• Anna after she gets out of the bath last nite:
  
  "I peed and it went down the drain and into the pipe and out into the ocean and the fishies will say 'Whose is that pee?'"
  
  Wow.
  Such a grasp of urban plumbing for one so young.
  
  
• Anna after I ask her if there is anything in her diaper:
  
  "Yes... there is one little, lonely thing..."
  
  
• Anna has started labeling her poos according to their, uh, unique shape. As in: "I did a J-poo!". And "I did a carrot poo!". Other poos that have made an appearance are "K"-poos (impressive if you really think about it) and "hole" poos (recall the pock-marked surface of the moon).
  

As you can probably tell, things are progressing nicely. Since yesterday I have started bribing her with M&Ms...

"Mommy, Are There Any More Brothers

... in Your Tummy Waiting to Come Out? "

uh, no A. Probably not sisters, either. Certainly not waiting.

The Prognosis is Good

Anna has a head cold. She's been feeling pretty badly. Stuffy nose, etc. I bought one of those Vicks waterless vaporizers with the green nightlight. Before bed I explained to her how it has a special smell that will help clear all the gook out of her nose. She looked happy, and then sad. She looked at me forlornly and asked:

"Mommy, will I ever be able to sniff again?"

Fish Decorations Part II

We made this for her "friends party". Gwammy had the idea to hang it in front of the windows (I was going to put them over the walls) which was a master stroke.

I took this later the next day with Anna peaking out from underneath.

Fish Decorations Part I

We have had a few birthdays lately. One was for Anna. Fish related, of course.

I had this great idea to make her an aquarium cake for her "family celebration" on her actual birthday. I read about it online after googling "Finding Nemo party" and got 10 million hits or so. It seemed pretty basic: the chocolate cake is the frame, blue jello is the water, gummy fishes are the fish, etc. Sure. I can do this. It was sort of like walking into Home Depot and convincing yourself that you can install your own toilet.

So I start this late the night before her birthday. Get my cake baked, no problem. Cake is done, I pull it out to cool. It cools and I do what I do whenever I frost a cake--I turn it over and dump it out onto a flat surface.

All right, no problem. Cake cool. Let's cut out the middle rectangle. OK, don't make the "frame" too thin, don't want this thing to fall apart hahaha.

OK I cut out the middle and even managed to remove it without messing up the "frame" part. I save the middle for folks who prefer non-Jello soaked Devil's Fudge sponge cake to eat. Great. Let's frost the frame with "Happy Birthday" and draw lots of fishes. And of course I put some pretty frosting curls all around the edges on the top and bottom of the cake. Cool.

OK, make the jello. OK, now let's pour it in the middle.
Hmmmnnn.
Wow when I pour theJello in what is going to stop it from seeping out the bottom and draining the "tank"? Well, the cake will absorb some but... surely the Jello won't set that quickly, even in the freezer? How is this supposed to work? Let's check the recipe.
Oh. It doesn't actually say to take the cake out of the pan. That was my thing.
Let's see. It's 11:30PM. No time to do another one. Can I cut the thing up, put it back in the pan, and hide my errors with frosting? Probably. Maybe. But it's too late. Just go for it.

Pour the Jello in. Manically attempt to plug the bottom edges up with buttercream frosting. Regret listening to that Johnston Flood audio tape last trip to Rochester.
More frosting! More frosting!
But it is too late. The blue keeps spreading. And spreading. Very Rorschach. What does this mean?

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaah! Stick it in the fridge and check it out tomorrow. Hope for the best.
Ah! Forgot to add fish. Dump some Nemo gummies in. Wait, I thought I had another bag. We need more than 4. What else do I have?
2-year old Hello Kitty fruit snacks! Perfect! No one is going to eat this anyway. In the glare of the blue Jello, the cats and cats' purses will be indisinguishable from the fish anyway! Dump some of those in. Put cake in the fridge. Go to bed. Hope.

Next morning: cut the blue puddle away from the outside of the frame and throw it away. Hope Anna doesn't notice her tank is very low on water. Yikes! Don't leave the cake out on the counter! The glare of the under counter lights has started to melt the Hello Kitty fruit snacks (note the ring around the top left aquarium resident). Back in the fridge! Ah!

Note to self: Thomas and Jack will never watch Nemo. Never!
Find a nice rectangular movie they like.

Q & A (nna)

Questions:

Actually, I don't even know where to begin. Something like: why are NYC public library cards, metro (subway) cards, random Nemo fish cards, some unidentifiable card with a pink thing on it, and small fake US bills lying on 4 clear plastic trays?
With Nemo figures on some of them?
With other random sea creatures on the others?
Some with more than one?
In a layout that is clearly the result of some intelligent designer?
And for that matter: why does the penguin have to share the 20 dollar bill with the dolphin? And why is that penguin flat on his back?
Why does the red lobster get the 10 dollar bill and the block lobster get the 1 dollar bill?
Who buys fish figurines, anyway?
Where did all the plastic trays come from?
Who did all this? Who decided to photograph it!??

Anna, Anna, Anna.
Jenny and Aunt Stacy buy her fish stuff. The trays come from Fairway.

All of these questions Anna has answers to. She spends most of her day making arrangements such as this. The other parts are spent sitting on her brothers after they re-arrange something.

Mommy (and Jill) follow behind her and photograph, of course.

When It Comes to Blows

Often these days, I feel like Howard Cosell. Here's a typical bout:

• Thomas is playing with a toy.
• Jack snatches the toy from Thomas.
• Thomas tries to take the toy back, but can't get it. Jack is too fast.
  
• Jack teases Thomas.
  Jack shoves the toy into Thomas' face and pulls it back when Thomas goes for it.
• Thomas hisses at Jack.
• Thomas grabs Jack's collar and slams him down onto the floor.
  
• Jack fakes innocence and looks astonished. Whimpers a bit. But he keeps the toy.
• Jack teases Thomas again. Same method.
  
• Thomas grabs a handful of Jack's hair and yanks.
• Jack screams.
• Jack's screaming scares Thomas. Thomas screams.
• Jack and Thomas' screaming upsets Anna. She starts hollaring at both of them.

• Mommy locks herself in the bathroom and says over and over "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."
  

We Went To A Wedding

And we made it back!
Were in Rochester all last week helping out at Aunt Stacy's wedding.

Which, of course, I used as an excuse to rent tuxedos for my 1-year olds. And Anna was the flower girl. Basically, it was a fantastic excuse for an amazing family photo op.

Here are a few photos that the photographer sent the next day. I'm not sure I'm going to make it waiting until Stacy gets back from her honeymoon to see the rest.