Street Cred

Mommy: "Anna, pick up the jammies you left on the floor."
Anna: "Oh man Mommy you're too tough for me..."

Hmmph. Re-spek.

BOO!

Scared you, didn't we?
(from left: Thomas, Jack & Anna)

Jack's Ting-Ting

Ah yes. It is so, so, so funny having a double entendre of one's own.
Jack's ting-tings (for he has more than one) are actually just strings. Plain, ordinary, shoelace-like lacing bead strings.
That lend themselves just beautifully to unexpected mid-afternoon "naughty fabulous" comments such as:

• "Thomas, stop pulling Jack's ting-ting!"
• "Jack, NEVER EVER wrap your ting-ting around your neck! You could hurt yourself!"
• "Anna, you can't use Jack's ting-ting as Horsie's car seat strap. Jack was playing with it."

Need I say more? These just seem to get funnier and funnier to me.

Big Issues We Deal With Every Day

Do English muffins and waffles have a crust?

Anna insists yes.
She wants to extend the same "it's OK to leave the outside part" protection long held by PB & Js to these baked goods as well.
Mommy adheres to a stricter interpretation of this standard. Those 'crusts' need to be eaten.

(Hey, you've got to start somewhere with the stimulating dinner table conversation, right?)

What Goes In Must Come Out

First there was Adam and the fig leaf.
Later, it was Newton and the apple.

Last night Anna had a Eureka! moment of her own when she got up from the dinner table to use the bathroom.
"Mommy! I know what pee is! It's water, milk, and juice!"

Star Wars: Indulge Me

[Note: I am aware that this post has about a 99% chance of being incredibly confusing to everyone but me. And I'm OK with that.]

I am a dork, I know.
But nonetheless: I give you "preparing for the pony ride" through the lens of George Lucas (complete with X-wing pilot helmets) and starring

• Anna as Princess Leia
• Jack as Luke Skywalker
• Thomas as Han Solo.

Top Photo
Luke: "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you!"
Leia: "You're who?"
Luke: "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you!"
[Luke starts to whine and look desperate.]
[A few other things happen.]
Leia: "This is some rescue! When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?"

Bottom Photo
Han Solo: "Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."

The 7 Year Itch @ 4 Years Old

Sloane, Ella, and Anna re-interpret a legend.

When Is An Abacus Not An Abacus?

That's easy:
When Jack is convinced it is his guitar.

He's quite the troubador, you know.
After dinner sing-a-long on the couch, anyone?

Fashion Faux Pas

(Or 'faux hooves', to coin a phrase.)
Ugh. It's always a bummer when someone wears the same thing you do.
And when that someone is a cow, it is even worse.

We Went Pumpkin Picking

But, NO, we didn't get any pumpkins. I believe Anna's current answer for why this was the case is "The line was too long and the brothers were getting crazy..."

But guess what? No one was disappointed.
I mean, once you take into account the apple picking, hayride, goats to pet and smell, funnel cakes, and yes lots of running through the pumpkin patch looking for pumpkins that would never make it back to Manhattan, you can see why having to come back into the city to merely physically select your pumpkin from the deli two blocks away was not such a big deal.

And make no mistake: the number one reason that Outhouse Orchards was so very able to rise above it's name was the pony rides. (Sebastian's Mommy: thanks for tip! We owe you.)



Here are our cowpokes. Anna, of course, was somewhere far, far beyond happiness when she saw the horse. What surprised me was that Jack and Thomas wanted to go on as well. Particularly Jack. He wore that same stoic look the whole way around the ring, but he loved every second of it. Thomas just giggled and giggled and giggled and giggled. What a day!

Since we had 'gone country' anyway, we stopped at my friend Jen's place in Riverdale on the way back for a campfire (34" pit, I believe) in her backyard. Anna, Thomas, and Jack all roasted marshmallows while retaining their original eyebrows.

Some top quotes from the trip:

• We took the Cross Bronx Expressway to get out to the orchards. As we drove through the Bronx, we all recalled that Diana lives in the Bronx. Anna's comment: "Yep, the Bronx sure looks good..."
• We get to the Outhouse Orchards (grass) parking lot. We get out of the car. We start to walk. We realize we are not walking very fast. This is because every 5 feet or so Thomas looks down and sees a rock that he has to pick up and announce. "Rock! Rock!" "Big Rock!" Even the parking lots are more exciting out here...
• When we got to Jen's house they started up the grill and everyone was munching happily on their burgers and hot dogs. Until Anna looked up and wondered "When are we going to do camping?"
  At which point the fire pit was readied.
  Soon Anna had her stick, her marshmallow and her fire. She looked up at the moon and delcared: "Yep, it sure is a nice night for camping."
  And then someone decided that Anna's marshmallow was done and started to take it off of the stick for her. Anna watched this happen and then let this person know that "Real camping is when you get to eat your own marshmallow."
  

What a day, eh? I love fall.

What a TuTu Can Do For You

The Answer Is: "BACK! BACK!"

What is...
What you don't want to hear your son happily yell right before you suspect something and turn around and see your son about to do a reverse belly flop (remember that 'team-building exercise' where you stand in front of someone and are supposed to just fall back and trust that they catch you? Exactly). Off of the couch. With no other team members in sight.

Wow. At least he had the sense to scatter a few pillows on the floor beneath him. Still, I think the re-entry would have been a doosy. Glad he was excited enough about his trick that he had to announce it first.

We Missed A Ballet Class

... because we are applying to Kindergarten.
(But that is a story of another kind...)

So, I signed Anna up for a make-up class the following Saturday.
And I told her about it. On Friday I said "Anna, you're going to a make-up class tomorrow because you missed ballet this week."

Anna was very excited about this. Really excited.
On Saturday morning, I told her to go get her ballet clothes on. She looked at me a bit quizzically.

"Mommy, is it a make-up class or is it ballet? So that I can look more beautiful?"

My Boys Of Summer

Don't want to give up their shorts. And short sleeve T-shirts.
Jack doesn't like to wear long pants.
Socks? Jack has no memory of socks.
All they are is "too tight" on his toes. "Too tight! too tight!"

And it took us a while to convince Thomas we weren't crazy when we put a footed sleeper on him at bedtime a few days ago.
"No shoes! No shoes!"
"No shoes! No shoes!"

Got Fire?

Well, here's your crew.
Anna's class visited the fire station and a fireman came to their school.
Did I mention they all received fire chief hats?

(And I have no idea why Anna thinks one block is good enough for a First Down.)

On Homonyms And Waking Up With A Cold

"Mommy, I sound like horses!"

Halloween Costume Selection

Sigh. I suspect that this Halloween kicks off the first holiday season in which the boys have opinions. This has made the costume decision much more difficult.

For starters, Jack wants to be Dora. Is determined to be Dora. Is working hard on Daddy to let him be Dora.
Jack is not going to be Dora.

Anna wants to be a horse.
[Cue 'which end? the front or back?' jokes...]
Needless to say, horse costumes are a bit complicated. They usually involve lots of 'extra' legs dangling around, and also having one hand occupied with the reins so that the head will stay up. The image of her navigating the steps at preschool is not a pretty one.
(And I trust the bathroom challenges inherent with this type of getup are self-explanatory, no?)
The only other option I could get her to consider was a unicorn. Not a big help.

But then I saw the unicorn head on a stick toy (a la a witches broom) and I knew I had it. So now Anna's costume is officially:

"A Princess Riding A Unicorn"

Or, more accurately, Sleeping Beauty riding a unicorn. Because Sleeping Beauty is her favorite princess. Do you know all the Disney princesses? No? Really? Well, you should spend some time with Anna and her friends; you'll get educated very quickly.

I was thrilled when this was all worked out; I ended up ordering Anna's Sleeping Beauty costume online (disneyshopping.com has lots on sale right now). Anna helped me order; I explained that it would come in the mail. The next day I heard her tell Jack:

"I'm going to be Sleeping Beauty! FreshDirect is bringing my costume!"

He Said, He Said

Anna: Eeewww! Something smells like poo!

Thomas: Jack do!
Jack: Tommy do!

So this is how it's going to be.
Sigh.

Happy Birthday Gwammy

This Is Where It All Happens

Guess what? Right now Anna is into writing letters.

Making name labels and taping them on their potties so that the brothers know exactly which one to sit on?

Right, that was what occurred to Anna, too, as a way to get in some extra practice writing.

Yoga For The People

Tired of those snobby yoga studios heavy on the attitude but light on the enlightenment?
Right. Us too.

Come, join us for a free session right outside your door in nature's own Riverside Park, allowing NYC's 'Ganges-esque' public park water to work its magic on your chakras.

And don't worry: you'll quickly forget that that creeping dampness you feel is more than just energy.

And we also humbly suggest wearing underwear you can be proud of.

Hanging Out

I liked this shot. I thought the 'sun rising over the phone booth' effect was quite cool.

And whose kids are those, anyway?

SNACK!

Is evidently toddler English for 'Garcon!'.
At least I think this is the case because every time we go to a restaurant, as soon as Thomas is seated he starts looking around for the waitstaff, jabbing his finger in the direction of his little (empty) bread plate and shouting this at the top of his lungs.

Deep Thoughts: Space and Time

• We went to Coney Island 2 weeks ago (but more on that later). As we exited the Subway we could see the Cyclone and the ferris wheel in the distance. Anna's excited comment:
  
  "Mommy, the ferris wheel is kind of like Uranus without the rings--it spins tipped on its side!"
  

• Anna is sitting in the stroller after a long day and a hard fall. She is looking up at the sky.
  
  "Mommy, does the sky have ceilings? So that helium balloons can't just go up in space?"

• Anna has this USA map placemat. It has a drawing of a dinosaur on Montana. Presumably because that is a state where they dig up lots of dinosaur bones. Or perhaps there's more. Anna looked closely at the placemat the other day and said:
  
  "Mommy! Can you believe it? There are dinosaurs alive in Montana!"

Thomas

Thomas has not been a very good boy of late.
He is not sleeping well in his big boy bed. And he is very, very terribly two.

This is him at River Park.
Unlike the other small children, Thomas not only sits in the "river", he also lays in it.
He splashes his face and neck with it as if it were cologne.
He bends over and dunks his head in it as if he is in a Gatorade commercial.

As Anna put it to him sternly: "Thomas, you are causing confusion and delay."
And that's the least of it. (I would add pain and suffering.)

So I'm posting this to help me think happy Tommy thoughts.
Because he will wake up at 4:30AM tomorrow.
And then I'll need those thoughts...

Urban Shame

That's right: My Sons Are Afraid Of Trees.

Particularly when the wind blows and moves the leaves. Almost like magic.
There, now it's out there.
I feel better already.

How Things Work

"Tommy, turn it back on! Press the powder button!"

Thomas likes to play the Leap Pad with Anna. Thomas likes to push all available buttons. Thomas ends up un/intentionally turning off the Leap Pad several times during one of their play sessions. At which point you hear Anna scream at him to turn the thing back on. I wonder why Tommy never seems to get the thing back on...

This is another in Anna's line of creative-button-names-for-electronic-gadgets. I mean, who could forget the cheese button?

Jack, I Can't Play Right Now

... because I have to get something ready for dinner.
[Mommy starts to make rustling noises in the kitchen.]

What does Jack do?
He walks over to the drawer where we keep the delivery menus.
He opens the drawer and picks out the menu of the place we order from the most.
He hands me the menu.
No, I am not proud of this.

Jack also refers to heating hot dogs in the microwave as 'cooking'.
Again, not so proud.

All this reminds me of the day when I realized that 1-year old Anna knew her phone number. I was on the phone with our favorite Vietnamese place, had just finished my order and was asked for our phone number.
I got as far as "212-8" before Anna, quietly playing across the room, looked up and shouted out the rest.

Sigh.

Don't Hate Her Because She's Beautiful

... or because her Crazy Chemistry Class happened to land her in a magazine.
That's right: Anna, et al. are the new cover girls for the Children's Museum of Manhattan. This full page spread was in the October issue of Time Out NY Kids, page 59.

(from l to r: unknown girl in red, Sloane, Anna, Katharine)

The Art Of The Deal

Thomas and Jack wake up. Yes, it is 5AM.
Jack immediately runs over to the couch and grabs Tommy's favorite train.
Tommy decides he needs to do something. He starts with the straightforward approach and tries to grab it out of Jack's hand.
Jack is a bit too quick for this.
I do my Wharton-based parental intervention thing and say one word: "trade".

Tommy looks around.
He grabs another train. He offers it to Jack.
Jack knows he's got a hot commodity. He refuses.

Tommy looks around again.
He grabs Elmo off of the couch. He shoves it in Jack's face.
He shouts "Elmo!". Still, Jack does not budge.

Tommy looks around again.
He sees the other Elmo (we have two boys, after all) on the couch.
He grabs the other Elmo. He shoves it in Jack's face.
He yells "More Elmo!".

Creative, but ultimately unsuccessful.
I suppose it is true that you can have too much of a brightly colored puppet with a high pitched voice.

When I Die, You Can Be In Charge

No, I did NOT say this to any of my children.

Anna said it to me.

We were playing her current favorite game where she is the Mommy and I am the Anna and her stuffed animal horse is my "little sister". She wanted to do something one way. I, clever child that I am, suggested a different way.

At which point she looked me in the eye and set me straight on exactly when my turn was going to be.

Eastside, Baby!

That's right. Our buddies Hugo and Jasper had their birthday party on the other side of the park, so you know what that means: cab ride! First one with just Mommy and the brothers.

Naturally, I took some candid shots.

(And yes the ride definitely went much more smoothly after I took a moment to share with the cab driver Jack's tendency towards regurgitation in jerky, darting vehicles.)

It's A Guideline, Not A Timeline

Scene: Anna and Jack are doing their thing on their respective potties (sp?) in the bathroom. Jack is catching up on Maisy's latest adventure book while Anna is flipping through her horse encyclopedia

Jack says "All done!" and starts to stand up.

Anna: "What?? You're not done. You haven't even turned all the pages yet!"

Urban Dangler

Yeah, I let my kids do this.

Down On The Corner, Out In The Street

No doubt John Fogerty had this good looking crew in mind when he penned those lyrics.

Thanks, Gwammy & Gwampy for all your help with our birthday party (photos coming soon).
And for the ice cream at 84th & Broadway, of course...

Thoughts On The Bridge

You know, the part of a song "that connects two parts of that song, building a harmonic connection between those parts.".

The other morning at breakfast while we were listening to the

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

part of Piano Man, Anna looked up and said "You could make your own song up here!"

What Is A Vegetarian Doctor, You Ask...

It seems obvious, eh? A doctor that doesn't eat meat.
It is also what Anna wants to be when she grows up.

Sort of.
After Anna told me that when she grows up she wants to be the person at the stable who gives the horses a shower, I told her that was great and why doesn't she think about med school while she's at it? That way after all the horses are nice and clean she can also be a veterinarian, which is a doctor who can take care of horses when they are sick.

Not sure if she got my message.