Dr. Anna & Dancing Queen

OK--so Anna now has bangs.
And we have this great doctor kit with silly blue glasses.

The combination of the two makes me want to write something like:

By day, she is all of the buttoned-up, precise and professional healer that everyone knows her to be.
But when the glasses come off [cue background Abba]--

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing...

Blue Jeans, No Shirt, Protruding Tummy

"I will read Brown Bear and the Backyardigans and escape the trailer park"

Ah, the American Dream.

Now all we need is the broken-down auto in the driveway. Er, I mean parking garage...

A Moveable Feast

While it is now true that we all sit at the table, our food has a tendency to travel.
All over the floor, and onto the wall behind us.

Drama

This is Jack. In a movie. Just as he catches sight of the approaching alien invaders using the Children's Museum's super-powered binoculars.
Cue. ominous. music.

And this is the devastatingly handsome mad scientist/used car salesman that signalled them to come to Earth...

I Need a Hero!

Thomas is a bit unsure about how to get himself out of this sticky situation in the tower at the Children's Museum.







Fortunately, Clark Kent happens to be taking a personal call in the 'giant Lite Brite' area nearby.

Superman underroos, anyone...?

Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum-Pum

Thomas and Jack keep it traditional when it comes to solos.
Anna prefers the new sumo-style.

Princess Of Chaos

This, I have decided, is my new title.

It is also the literal German translation of the title of a book written by an American woman dedicated to bringing attention to the 'hidden epidemic' of adult women with ADHD.

(The book title in English is "Women With Attention Deficit Disorder".
Yes, according to the Economist that literally translates to "Princess of Chaos" in German.
And "Women Who Can't Put Things In Order" in Japanese.
As always, the German speakers are totally in tune with issues of the psyche.)

Just so you know: I don't know this because I bought the book, I know this because I had a chance to read The Economist over Christmas break (begin intellectual props comments, please), and they had an article about this book/movement under the catchy title "Really Desperate Housewives".

I just love the 'Princess of Chaos' thing.
But I cling depserately to the hope that once my children are grown, I will be able to complete a 4- or 5- sentence conversation about a single topic. No Ritalin required.

Men At Work

Clearly, it's been a long day for Jack cleaning up under the high chair. Thomas definitely looks as though he is handling the new system of "family chores" a bit better.

Whenever we sweep or vacuum, Jack runs for his cleaning tools and works right alongside us, providing a homemade vacuum cleaner noise (vrrrrrrmmmmmnnnnnn) to supplement the lovely sound that already comes from his dustbuster (2 AA's required). On the plus side, it does have a tiny bit of suction and so is able to pick up the ubiquitous orange fuzz that emanates from our all-time most impractical area rug.

Every little bit helps, I say.

Jack's So Cool, He Walks With One Hand Behind His Back

That's right.
Jack now strolls. Vaguely Charlie Chaplin-style, one hold folded behind him at the small of his back. He strolls. Around the apartment, around the playroom, around music class.

As one father in the playroom said: "That takes a bit of charisma..."

Jack's other new thing is salami. He loves it. I think he'd eat it at every meal. He sucks on it and chews it and overall throughly enjoys himself.

But the best development: Jack has really, really calmed down and just become this incredibly loveable, cuddly boy. Every morning when Anna wakes up he runs up to her and gives her a big hug. If Anna cries, Jack tries to hug and kiss her and rub his hair into her face. When Daddy or I or Jenny come in the door, Jack stands behind the gate with his arms outstretched waiting for a hug. Jack will jump into your arms and put his head on your shoulder and just cuddle.

And last night, just before I laid him down for bed, I patted his back to get any last burps out, and Jack looked at me and smiled and then started to pat my back, too.

Good night, Jack. Sweet dreams...

What Scrubs Will Do To You

Anna's Gwampy likes to watch Scrubs. According to Gwammy, is a bit obsessed, actually.
I would not normally mention this in this forum except for the difficulty this has been causing lately during pretend play.

Now when Anna opens the doctor kit and pulls out the stethosope, the other kids think she is a bit strange. Unless she is immediately invovled in finding a heartbeat, she doesn't put the "bunny ears" of the stethoscope (what do you call those things?) around her neck like all the other kids. She lays the stethoscope on its side behind her neck. Ears on one side, microphone (again, what do you call that? the part you put over the heart?) on the the other.

Just like they do on Scrubs.
Just like Gwampy showed her :)

"Where is My Nose Heater?!"

(I know, I know: sounds more like something you would find mentioned in a White House memo than in an Anna quote.)

But we've all been healthy lately. (Can you hear me knocking?)

And so it is that Anna noticed that the Vicks Waterless Vaporizer was no longer in her room. I put it back in the closet. The last time we used it, I had explained to Anna that the vaporizer blows warm air with a special smell to help un-stuff her stuffy nose.

Nose heater.

Fantastic preschool-speak.

You Know Naptime is Not Proceeding Smoothly...

when you go in to check on the guys and
Thomas' pants (aka the pants he began naptime with)
are now in Jack's crib. Hmmmnn.

London Calling...

Fishie Organization Lives On (FOLO).
Brit-style.

Remember how back in the 60s people used to have contests to see how many people they could squish into one of those VW Beetles? Well, I don't--but I think I've heard about them and this is kind of like that.

This is "how many miniature Nemo fishie figurines can you fit into a scale model London taxi cab that Daddy just brought back from his trip while still balancing the larger 'Nemo Mommy' figurine on the top all while getting your photographic proof in front of a fish tank at exactly the moment that Nemo (shockingly, the name of the real fish in the tank) happens to be swimming by, totally amazed because in all the times he has tried he has never even been able to flag down one of those roomy cabs, much less stuff 3 or 4 of his closest friends in with him?"

Well, if you look closely, you'll see the face of Nemo peering out of the open back door, and the tail of the yellow fish (Bubbles) behind him looking out the back window. On the other side was definitely pufferfish (he's just short). So we have at least 3, but I'll have to talk to Anna for the final tally.

He looks angelic

... and that golden glow is no Photoshop trickery, either. And I think he knows it.

He loves to look at his reflection in the windows. Especially while he is eating. Thomas has been big on reflections since the day he happened to notice that he could actually watch television two different ways--by looking in front of him (at the TV) or behind him (at the windows). Cool.

He also tries to hide anything that is not nailed down.
Thomas spends the better part of his day shoving toys underneath the couch, or the rug, or the chair, or anywhere else he thinks he can fit them. And he gets incredibly upset when he can not, for example, jam his car underneath the couch (that sits directly on top of the rug).
His blue drumsticks, on the other hand, have been under there for weeks.

He likes to point. At certain times, under certain moods, Thomas will walk around a room, pause at a random spot, point at something in front of him and deliver a babble-filled tirade complete with jabbing index finger and raised voice. The things he chooses to point and hollar at are hilarious; he'll lean into a poor innocent bin of toys to let it know what he thinkgs of it, or bend over to really, really let the bottom bookshelf have it. He's like a little general that we wound up and then let loose in the living room. And it is not really anger coming through, just... taking charge. Thomas may have lost the battle, but my money is definitely on him to win the war.

Despite his general-ish demeanor, Thomas is such a teddy bear. He is my squeezeable bottle of ketchup (Jack, I have decided, is the Worcestershire sauce :). He gives great kisses. But lately he has a new thing: when you ask for a kiss, he comes toward you, lips puckered, like he is going to give you what you want--but at the last second he puts whatever he currently has in his hand up to your lips. The things I have kissed in the past few weeks would make a junior high school bathroom stall blush. (Um, get it? The graffiti? All the crazy things that get written about? Anyway...)

Other favorite Thomas mealtime pastimes:
- Pushing the pasta tubes on his fingers and waving his hands around. Pretty standard, I suppose.
- Getting something onto his fork (he is getting good), and then flinging his wrist and sending it airborne.
- Not mealtime related, but funny nonetheless: Thomas is a champion scolder. He walks around doing the "ni ni no no no" thing while wagging his index finger like a stern great aunt. All he needs are a pair of coke bottle rimmed glasses to peer at me over the top of and I am sure to start feeling guilty.

But despite all these buckets of pure "adorability", Jack still seems to be Anna's favorite.
Anna's take on Thomas, as delivered to a babysitter just the other day:
"That's Thomas--the one with the light hair--he doesn't look like us"

Sigh. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride is my poor T...

Anna in the Kitchen

She uses "re-tensils".
I believe they are kind of like u-tensils, except she has given them away many times and they keep coming back.

And guess what she calls potholders now? Sponge rollers.

Jack: Separated at Birth...

... and after a hair cut.

Men Watching Sports

(ok maybe it was Baby Einstein, but can't you just see this fifteen years from now?)
Thomas and Jack express their dismay over the recent Giants-Jets playoff shutout.
And also the Knicks, of course.

Shorn!

Well, it had to happen eventually.

And when Jack grabbed the scissors from the doctor kit and held them up to his head, Mommy got the message.

Jack was really good; he seems to enjoy grooming. And he looks spectactularly handsome, and about 5 years older.

And don't worry: he hasn't lost any of his super powers...

Singin' In The Rain

Oh, yes: for Christmas, Anna was completely dolphin-accessoried. Or, as she insists, blue whale-accessoried. At any rate, it takes her forever to walk anywhere with that umbrella. (Only partly because everyone stops her to tell her how cute she looks :)

And now some Christmas quotes:

-- Right before bed on the 24th, we decide to leave a snack for Santa. Not surprisingly, Daddy suggests cookies and milk.
Cookies and milk. Hmmnnnn. Basically Anna's two favorite food groups. I knew Santa was not going to get these without a fight. As in:
"I don't want to give him cookies! Give him fruit! And pineapple juice! and pears!"

-- Anna noticed a framed black & white photo of a child sitting on Santa's lap. I guessed that it was Uncle Wesley. Gwammy said, no, that was actually her when she was little. Anna looked at the photo for a moment, and then:
"Were you a boy or a girl?"

-- We finished dinner on Christmas Eve and Anna gave Gwampy a big hug. Gwampy was touched and told her "aw, what a sweet girl you are!". Even as Anna is realeasing the hug, she is turning towards me and saying "I want to go home now"...
That's what you call a whole lotta love and very little timing.

-- On the geography front, Anna and I started talking about New Hampshire (I think because that is where Ellen was for Christmas). Anna let me know that "New Hampshire is a young state--it is very little so it must be a baby".

But by far the best: Gwampy was playing cars with Anna. Anna decided to make patterns with the colors of the cars and began laying them all out. Gwampy looked at the cars in front of him and said "red and green! The colors of Christmas!"
(As an aside: Anna's favorite colors are blue and purple.)
Anna looked at her cars and then thought for a moment. Then she said:
- "And I have purple and blue, the colors of Hanukkah! And Mommy has purple and green, the colors of Kwanza!"

Who knew she knew the colors of Kwanza?

"If This Is Summer, Then Where... "

is the ice cream truck?"

Not sure if you were aware of this but it was 70 degrees this weekend in NYC.
I was walking with Anna and she evidently noticed how warm it was and wanted to know why the other joys of summer were not around as well.
So I explained to her that no, it is not summer--actually it is January and just especially warm.

From the look on her face I could tell she thought mine was a fairly minor point; on a day like today, the guy should still be working, shouldn't he?

[Editorial note: when I read Anna's quote, I can not stop saying it in my head in the voice of Darth Vadar. As in:

"If this is a consular ship, then where is the ambassador?!"

You remember, right? From the first Star Wars (uh, I mean technically the 4th)? Right after Vadar boards Leia's ship and is asking her where the stolen plans are and she claims the ship is on a diplomatic mission to Alderran?

Insufferable geek, I know.]

"Mommy, I'm Going to a Meeting."

(continuing the trend of charming/embarrassing mis-statements regarding parental behavior)

Anna says this all the time now as we leave the apartment.
To an outside listener (say: any of our neighbors) you would think Anna is a regular at AA.

And this is my fault. What do you tell a child when you have to go for an appointment to get your hair cut, or to return an online purchase, or something similar and alone? I guess I knew she understood the concept of Daddy working and going to meetings, and when we were renovating I used to tell her I had to go to a meeting with the contractors, etc, so I suppose I have just continued using the same word.

But I've decided I need to 'fess up: life involves the occasional pedicure. I've got to let her know.

"Daddy Got Weed"

... was what Anna told me as she sat down to lunch after coming back from the bagel shop with Daddy.
Daddy was upstairs at the time.

After a bit more questioning, I was able to determine that Daddy had in fact bought "wheat", as in whole wheat bagels for the family.

No dime bags here, no worries Grandparents!
Although if they had gone to Starbucks', the bagel might actually have cost that much.

Let's Get Literal

Words Anna thinks are completely hilarious:

• nutcracker
• but-tocks
• lah-goooooooon (think Gilligan's island).

I mean, she will just lose it when she hears these. When Jenny used the word "buttocks" I almost thought Anna was going to require oxygen. I guess I should be thankful: at least we're not yet into "pee", "poo", and "fart"-induced bouts of hilarity.

She also has very interesting pronounciations of some words: she is very interested in what language people speak, and she tells everyone that she speaks "Ang-lish". To hear her say "lagoon" is also a treat.

But by far the cutest thing is to hear her use the word "encouragement". The context is priceless. Jack will be trying to do something and she'll say "We need to give him some encouragement!" (emphasis and shouting on the last syllable of the word, of course).

She is also heavy into making a up words & randomly using them to label everyday items. Too many to even begin to list. Well: ok, I happen to remember one. This afternoon she seamlessly used the word(?) "trodge" in a sentence to refer to my jewlery box.

And she keeps calling her brother "Timmy" for some reason.

And here is something I did not know until I had to put Jack 'in the pen' yesterday and Anna passed on some knowledge:

the Spanish word for time-out is mag-noos-in.

I can't wait to go to Majorca and try that one out.

Ok ok ok ok: I just can't wait to go to Majorca.
Ok: even Atlantic City would do. The Tropicana, anyone?

The Brothers

What they do:

• Open the front door.
• Hold onto their shoes. And the other brother's as well just to make him mad.
• Come in the front door, run to the cabinet where we keep the remote control and try to push as many buttons as possible before Mommy catches up.
• Turn off the lights in their bedroom while Mommy and Daddy or whoever are trying to put them to bed. And I'm not talking just a simple on/off switch here: they can also work the Lutron dimmer.
  It is surprisingly disconcerting to find yourself in total darkness, poopy diaper in hand and two muchkins on the loose...
  
• Run down the hall to the elevator screaming at the top of their lungs (with joy, of course).
• Give high fives.
• Chew their socks.
• Give Mommy really, really great kisses. Unless they’re teasing me, of course.
• Do their doctor routine: Use the stethoscope to try to find your heartbeat anywhere between your forehead and your pelvis. Use the ear-checker thing (what is that called, by the way?) to look for ear infections--in your mouth, and up your nose, and in your belly button, etc. Chew the "pump" on the blood pressure checker.
  
• Climb up the steps before bedtime.
• Practice "jumping": big smile, bend their knees so their butt just about touches the ground, and then stand up really quickly.
  

Thomas

Total flirt.
Smiles at all the pretty girls. And they smile back.
Very patient when some other child takes his toy.
Very impatient when he is trying to do something and can’t get it to work.

Thomas’ favorite words:

• Yeah
• dis! (this)
• dat! (that)
• dere! (there, generally accompanied by index finger jabbing his high chair tray)
  
• moo (a cow)
• ni ni ni ni ni ni ni (accompanied by wagging finger)
• all done

Thomas loves to:

• Really draw. I mean, he puts marks on paper and doesn’t get hungry for crayons for at least 5 minutes or so.
• Rub his face in my hair. Unbeliveably cute, except for the fact that he has had a runny nose for about a month.
• Shove the drumsticks under the couch and take them out again. Unless he can't. In which case, he gets really mad.
• Press buttons in the elevator. Oh, Lord. Does he ever.
• Use the key card to open the door to the playroom.
• Sit down and look at his books—particularly the ones with flaps.
• Blow his nose. Yes, he really does it. OK, we hold the Kleenex, but still-he blows.
• Fling food off his fork.
  
• Dance while shaking his hips from side to side. Yes, it's true: against all odds, the boy has rhythm. Or at least thinks he does.

Today.

The first day that each of my children were in time-out at least once.
But never all at the same time.
Ha! A mom can dream...

I may have to re-think one thing, however. (Ok or a few, actually.)

Jack, for the most part, likes time-out.
He treats it like his own personal mosh pit. He "runs" into each side and bounces off, all with a smile.

Seriously, there is entirely not enough crying...

Thanks, Uncle Wes & Ellen

(continuing the favorite gifts roll call...)
Those fishie finger puppets are a big hit.
And the fishie window dance that accompanies them is a sight to see as well.

Jack

Suddenly, he's got a HUGE personality.

He's a total tease. He knows when to withhold his kisses for maximum effect. He knows when to stand up in the tub and dance (yikes, I know) just as I am reaching for the soap.

He's a fighter. We should all pity the poor child at the Children's Museum taking a bit too long of a turn driving the fire engine or trying to grab his air hose. Jack will hollar, bare his teeth and push. And the kid might even be 5.

Jack's favorite words:

• uh-oh
• ni ni ni ni ni ni ni (aka No)
• bye bye
• all done
• ball! (any circular object)
• annnnnn-na
• boo (Blue from Blue's Clues)

Words that I swear I have heard once but not again:

• water bottle
• undercover
• gra-nooooola

Jack loves to:

• Hold a baby wipe and move his hand back and forth anywhere in the general area of his pelvis. With his clothes on, of course.
• Dance to the Blues Clues music theme song. Yell "ball" anytime anything remotely circular appears on screen. Yell "boo" when Blue herself makes an appearance.
• Pretend he is Steve doing the "we just got a letter" routine. I found this out tonite when he got hold of a CD case (rectangular) and was able to open it ("let's see who it's from"). I was shocked. He pushed the case back and forth just like Steve. Think "doot-doot-doot-doot..."
• Take the junk mail from me, walk over to the trash can and throw it out.
• Brush his hair, or anyone else's.
• Yank my hair clip out of my hair.
• Fake blowing his nose by stealing a dishcloth and holding it up to his face.
• Eat crayons.
• Blow kisses.
• Eat your cereal. From your bowl.
  

Ansel Anna

So... let's start with the rundown of best-loved Christmas gifts. Grandma bought Anna the Fisher Price kid-tough digital camera. Now let's just allow art to speak for art itself (click on image for a larger view)...


Not too shabby, eh? Her use of bright, bright flash right up in peoples faces is brilliant, I think (see uniquely lit photos of Jack). For a camera that has no focus (4 feet from your subject gives you the sharpest results) and a small but intense flash range, this is pretty darn good.

The Sounds of Silence

to paraphrase:

... people laughing laughs
that voices never aired
no one dared
oh yes I laugh... in silence

OK I'll just admit it. I'm one of those people who when we laugh really, really hard--

we make no noise.
None.

Just this kind of tick-tocky "ah-ah-ah" escapes from the back of my throat.
Has this fact been the cause of even more laughter amongst my friends? Oh yes.

And so I only bring this up in this forum because, just after Christmas, for the first time, I heard (sort of) Anna do the same thing. She was laughing really, really hard, and there it was:

ah-ah-ah-ah-
deep breath-
ah-ah-ah-ah

and so on.

I had really been hoping this was one trait that hadn't worked it's way through the genetic sieve.

The funny thing is, within a few days of this discovery Anna heard me do the same thing. OR almost heard. And for the next 10 minutes she kept grabbing my chin to turn my face towards her and demanding "Laugh, Mommy! Laugh!"

Potty Trained. Tentatively.

That's right.
Anna now goes to the bathroom without me asking.
And wipes-and-flushes-and-washes-and-dries.

And the globe and bubble wrap are now rarely necesary...

Christmas in Pittsburgh...

...it's a laid back affair. And no snow!

We spent the holiday with Gwammy and Gwampy and the cousins. And it was a lot of fun. Favorites included the piano, Gwammy's basement full of toys, and Gwammy's cereal (see photos below). And of course the pretzel jello :)

I Can't Really See, But I Can Still Par-ty

Big party at preschool to celebrate Christmas. (And Hanukkah, and Kwanza, of course.) Anna wore her red Christmas dress and insisted on wearing both her fishie watches and her favorite purple and green beads. The kids had made these "headresses" which I think were supposed to be bows (a la Christmas presents) but the way they all put them on, they all ended up looking a bit like pilgrims at Thanksgiving. Any way you look at it, the whole thing was completely adorable.

They also sang Christmas carols for the parents. They also ate the Christmas cookies they had made at our apartment.

Anna chose to eat the biggest one. By far. I mean, other kids opted to eat bells, or the snowman, or the airplane, or the horse, or hey some even ate the crackers, cheese or carrots--but Anna went right for the cookie in the shape of the huge gingerbread man. She basically is holding only half of it in her hand. It's not like we don't give her sweets at home, you know...

Oh yes, I forgot to mention Jack was there, too. (Tommy was sleeping.) After I snapped this photo, I looked up long enough to realize that I didn't see Jack anywhere.

No worries--he was in the bathroom, splashing happily in the potty.
All the other parents assured me they thought this was funny...

Merry Christmas!

Lots of love from our little "men in ties" and the sister who loves/torments them.

The Birth of the Modern*

And so it is that milleniums of human development have led to this: a man, or a woman, or in this case a preschooler, with a question borne out of her newfound capacity for rational decision-making and the desire to shape her own destiny...

"And what are you going to do if I don't?"

You can just imagine the context here. Something along the lines of "Anna, go clean up your toys..."
(and let's amend that to perceived capacity for rational decision-making)

* with 're-spek' to Paul Johnson