Santa Dealing With The Inevitable Sassy Elf

There's one in every Christmas season.
This year's model is Sebastian; Santa's seen his kind before.
He actually attempted to open someone else's presents during this "Santa's Little Helpers" photo shoot! Lordy...

Later on, while Monica (sassy elf's mother, aka SELFM) and I were going over Christmas presents, we heard all this giggling. We found these two in my bed, crawling around under the covers & pillows, having a great time.

As Monica put it: "Too bad we didn't get the photo of Santa and her elf in bed..."

Now that would have been a shot.

Anna Pooped in the Pool

while swimming with Daddy tonite.
He said she asked to swim by herself for a minute, and then out it came.
And that is all I have to say about that.

(And Daddy probably doesn't want to talk about it, either... :)

A Trip to the Children's Museum

We went to the Children's Museum today. And it was awesome. Right now they have a fantastic exhibit on the thrid floor that was fun for all three of them. Very hands-on.

As we were waiting for our stroller to be retrieved by the stroller valet (only in NY kids, only in NY), Anna and I took a walk through the gift shop.
She saw a blue umbrella. She really has been wanting a blue umbrella to match her blue whale boots. She said "Mommy, I see something I like..."
And I told her it was a looking trip.
Maybe Santa will bring it, I added hopefully.
Anna ignored me and fingered the price tag; she looked up at me and said:

"Look Mommy, it says: its OK--you can just take it!"

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...

After the museum, the brothers went home for a lunch and a nap and Anna and I went out for a special lunch before preschool. After lunch, we both went to the bathroom. After we both had "gone", I asked Anna to flush. She smiled at me happily and said:

"I'll flush your pee and my pee together, Mommy!"

$10 Bucket of 100 Cookie Cutters: Priceless

I love Bed, Bath & Beyond. There is now one at 69th and Broadway. Woo. Hoo.

Anna had some of her friends from preschool over to make Christmas cookies. I ordered frozen sugar cookie dough from Fresh Direct and we rolled it out onto our (very clean) train table.

[Editorial Note: Many thanks to Gwammy for the gift of the rolling pin last year. I would have looked pretty funny to the other moms trying to roll out four pounds of dough with the little plastic rolling pin that came with Anna's kitchen set.]

The kids loved it. The mess was very manageable. The bucket of 100 cookie cutters is without question the best $10 I have ever spent.

And after eating lunch, as everyone was busy frosting the cookies, Anna looked around the table and asked very pleasantly:

"So, guys, don't you like my house?"

I have no idea if this was just 3-year old conversation filler or if she felt like the accolades were just too slow in coming, but it was quite funny.

Anna Quotes

• Anna plays with the laundry basket, gets inside and asks Diana to push her. Anna says "I'm on JetBlue!". Diana starts to push her. Anna turns back to Diana and says "planes go fast". I mean, in case she didn't know...
  
  
• "Minutes are long, Mommy". You're right, A. Especially when I tell you to wait for 1 and then you actually end up having to wait for 10.
  
  
• Anna had done something mildly annoying to me and I guess I showed it. She looked up at me and said "I'm a beautiful person Mommy."
  
  
• At a recent breakfast the brothers were done first and were bothering Anna while she was trying to eat. I grabbed the boys and said "come on guys, let's give Anna a little peace". Anna whipped right around and said "No! I want a big piece."

• Thomas complaining in his high chair. I have no idea where this came from, but Anna's response: "Thomas stop screaming or you'll have to get down and we'll send you to someone else's house."
  
  
• "I'm area!"
  Think: Anna dressed up looking sort of like the Little Mermaid.
  That's Ariel, A. Ariel.
  

• Let's talk frightening enunciation.
  instead of for, Anna says fer
  instead of you, Anna says yah
  instead of to, Anna says tuh
  
  Sadly, I suspect this can only be happening if I actually speak this way as well. Sigh.

Tell Me a Story Mommy

Lately, I have been getting this request from Anna. She means she wants me to tell her the story of how she was born. So I have done that a few times. Then she wanted to know the story of how the brothers were born. Then one day she told ME a story:

Mommy I have 10 brothers in my tummy.
So we need 10 Jennys! [amen!]
When they want to come out we are going to get into the black car and drive to Dr. Baxi
Dr Baxi is going to give me medicine to make the line feel better
Dr Baxi is going to cut me so bring the green play-doh scissors
Then in a few days the line will go back to the color of skin

wow. quite a plan.

We've Got the Blues

Move over, Nemo.
Goodbye, Hello Kitty (ha! remember that one? soooooo 2005).

There's a new dog in town: and his name is Blue.
Begin Anna obession #3.

Daddy has done his part and even taught her how to play the theme song on the piano...

No, The Inmates Are Not Running the Asylum

See?

White Girl *Can* Jump

Yep, it's official.
I have seen it in gym class (on the trampoline) as well as--completely unaided by any bouncy flooring, mind you--off the cold NYC sidewalks.

Anna can jump.
Off two feet.
She gets air!

Woo hoo!

And, speaking of gym class: she weilds a mean hockey stick. We (uh, I mean Anna) have done hockey three classes in a row now, using a stick with a foam blade and a frisbee for a puck and she is really getting good at it. She can hit the frisbee from both sides of the blade and she never swings and misses. She can even reliably launch a slapshot between two cones.

Woo hoo!
I will NOT have to cheer for a cheerleader! Woo hoo!

(not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...)

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream...

... for Avocado, Edamame, and Broccoli.

That's right. My boys will growl and hollar and scream and pound their trays for these three extremely green and extremely vegetable-ish foods.
Even for reheated versions of these vegetable-ish things!

(Well, ok--full disclosure: their favorite way to eat the avocado is in "dip" form, 2/3 avocado and 1/3 cream cheese. But still--what they are eating is very, very green.)

And I have only had to fake actually eating one member of this threesome once or twice! I wonder how long I'll be able to keep that up? :)

The Tom-inator, or... Tom-Kat

He's got the glasses, the looks (if a Mommy may say so), and the pants (or lack of them).

Can't you just see him using those pegs in his left hand as a microphone?
Can't you just hear him singing "Old Time Rock 'n Roll"?

Or delivering a line like: "I'll be back" in an Austrian accent?

Let's talk about Tommy. He seems to be a guy's guy. Evidence:

• He loves to throw things. He started "throwing" by basically dunking everything backwards behind his head. But in the last few weeks, he has progressed--he now throws relatively normally (with almost no teaching from me, mind you), and most of the things he throws actually go forward in a relatively straight line.
  
  And it's also fun because he has shown almost no interest in catching. You can bounce soft things off him all day and he'll just run and pick them up.
  He also has been showing his basketball aptitude; he loves to put things "in"--he is even a help when cleaning up.
  
  
• Thomas has two main modes of communicating. One involves long strings of "dah dah du du di di dah dah doo da di du". And I mean monologues. And they are loud.
  The other method is even better--he growls. Thomas growls at everything and everyone. The growling is not generally related to anger; I think he just likes the sound of it.
  
  
• Thomas loves to build. He spends a lot of time stacking cups, building peg towers, and using the Mega blocks.
  
  Jack loves to knock down. And this is where Thomas shines: when he sees Jack coming, Thomas will look right at him and deliver an extremely forceful, babble-filled invective full of 'd' sounds (see previous point) . Of course Jack keeps coming. Then Thomas will growl. That doesn't usually work either. Cue the Big fight.
  
  Until today, that is. Today, Thomas tried a new strategy: the scorched-earth policy.
  Just as Jack was reaching for his tower, Thomas knocked it down himself. Very Sun Tzu, eh, to sort that all out before the age of 2? As Gwammy would say: "clearly, he's a genius".
  
  

Jack. Purses.

He can't get enough.
Frogs? No problem.
My Overland Sports brown knapsack? Why not?

The day he starts to ask for fine Italian leather goods, I start to worry.

Time to Party

In case you didn't realize, we are officially entering the "meat" of the New York City birthday season.

[FYI - In NYC no one has babies in the summer. Well: at least everyone tries not to. Has to do with preshool entrance timing issues. It is a long story. ]

At any rate, Anna has gone to a bunch of parties this fall: Nya's, Sebastian's, Caroline's (see photo), and Sam's next weekend. So she is very up on the whole birthday party process.

Anna got the invitation from Sam after preschool one day. When we got home, we read it over. The last line said "No Gifts Please" (also common NYC practice). Anna looked confused for a moment and then asked no one in particular:

"Well then what does he want?"

We continued to ponder this over the next week or so, rereading the invitation several times. A few days ago, we had the same discussion. I'm not sure if Sam had mentioned something to her at preschool or not, because this time she had a solution...

"I think he wants money."

Right. Of course.

Mommy's birthday was last week. Anna had a few questions prior to the big day:

• "Are your friends coming over?"
• "What TV show [i.e. theme] do you want for your party?"

I guess those are better than the one she asked Jenny (born Jan 3rd). When Anna heard about this, I guess she decided to start right from square one and asked "So, you got any friends?".

This Would Never Happen If We Lived In The Suburbs

(1) [from last summer] Mommy and Daddy walk into Wal-Mart, wander around the aisles completely amazed, get in line to pay and have NO CLUE how to use the self-checkout, or even that we were in that line.

(shhh! listen closely: yep, that's right. it's the theme from "Green Acres"...)

(2) [from this Thanksgiving] Grandma and Papa take Mommy, Anna, Thomas and Jack to the mall. We visit Santa. We all ride the carousel--even Anna, who has always been scared of it and previously refused to go on. We get Chinese food and Anna uses chopsticks. We get back into the car and everyone gets strapped in.

As Papa starts the car, Anna points out the window at the mall and says:

"What do you call that thing over there?"

As in: man, we need one of those near our house.
Disneyland, Anna. Disneyland.

Anna Quotes

• "I want Jack's hair to be longer!"
  Then she pulls it.
  
  
• Picture a car trip with three small children.
  As both brothers are screaming, Anna keeps shrieking: "Guys, you're upsetting me!". Which is completely understandable (I'd like to yell that myself, after all), but of course just upsets them more.
  
  
• For the last few weeks, whenever Thomas or Jack coughs, Anna puts on her paniced look and yells:
  
  "Ah! Ah! Aaaaaahhh! Thomas [or Jack] is going to throw up on me!"
  
  This started on the car trip to Rochester and has continued at home. I think she is still slightly scarred from our last round of illnesses.
  
  
• If something happens that Anna thinks I have missed (for instance, when I am helping the brothers), or if she feels some event was lacking just the right amount of drama, when I arrive on the scene Anna will instruct me to say "What happened here?".
  At which point she will give me the full report on her boo boo, or what Jack did to her tower, or why Jenny didn't give her enough yogurt.
  Lower lip will be in full effect, of course.
  
  
• Anna is getting really chatty. This is only an issue on the not-so-rare occasion that Mommy or someone else would like to say something. When that happens, often I will get:
  
  "But Mommy, I need to hear my words!"
  "But Mommy, I need to saaaaaay things..."
  
  
• Anna and I went to the circus on Mommy's birthday. I didn't know exactly where in Lincoln Center the entrance was. I asked Anna to help me look for the place where we go in. She looked at me and said:
  
  "Well, Mommy, we just need to find a door..."
  
  
• Random Anna quote when I asked her to do something:
  
  (softly) "Do I dare?"
  
  Wow. And we've only read Prufrock one or two times, max.
  
  
• What don't you want to hear on a playdate when your view of both children is blocked?
  
  "Sebastian, I want to see what your brain does..."
  [insert diabolical laugh text here]
  
  
• How Anna casually says goodbye:
  
  "Thanks for stopping by"
  "Take care a bunch"
  "Have a good night"
  
  
• We have had a lot of conversations lately about being a big kid (and going potty and doing lots of special things) versus being a baby (they get to pee their pants and never go anywhere all that cool). Anna knows that babies can grow up to be big kids. And she knows that to grow, she needs to (1) eat properly and (2) get lots of sleep.
  
  And so... if Anna feels I do not give her enough of the food that she wants (generally yogurt, or cereal, or juice boxes, or chocolate), she lays the guilt trip on me:
  
  "But Mommy, you're not giving me food. How am I going to grow if you don't give me food?"
  Cue the lower lip, of course.
  
  

Hey Ste-llllllla!

While I'm on my classic movie kick: when Jack grows up, he is an absolute lock to play Stanley in his high school's production of "A Streetcar Named Desire".

And I mean absolute lock.

How do I know this? Because Jack, at age 15 months, has already perfected his Marlin Brando yell.

And I mean perfected.

He performs this anytime he does not get his way. He does not actually yell "Stella", of course. Right now his interpretation is a more general one; his wail of anguish is directed at all humanity, particularly anyone refusing to pick him up or give him that remote control.

And he even gets it better than Brando (if I may say so). Not only does he do the head flung back, hands on either side of his head thing, but he also does it from his knees.

(Photographic proof to come.)

By the way, Jack has one other move of anguish and supplication.
With complete disregard for flooring--be it carpet, hardwood floor, marble tile or granite--Jack, in a spasm of utter woe, will (from his kness, of course) bring his head down and bang his forehead on the floor. Think Muslim prayer position as channeled by an angry one-year old.

Ah, Jack.

What's So Funny?

I mean, when you were 3 and looking at the globe with your dad, didn't you wear your purple and green necklaces and your pink fishie ring and red and pink wristwatch and christmas doggie underwear and blue whale boots?
(All sans pants, of course?)

And, oh just a couple of Anna globe updates:
(1) Could you pick out Chad on a map of the world? Anna can.
(2) Guess what country is in the top part of Africa--you know, where they filmed that Bogie and Bacall movie?
That's right: its called Maraccas.
Same name as the things Thomas loves to shake.

Booooooorn to be Wiiiiiiii-eye-ld

Rest assured that if Peter Fonda had opted for the "wild rose"-colored Mary Janes, things would have turned out a lot better for him...

Men Who Clean

(from the Mommy who loves them...)

When Anna turned one, Aunt Liz bought her a vacuum cleaner. Not just any vacuum cleaner; this one has a detachable dustbuster and a removable hose w/couch crevice attachment. AND there is an on/off switch, aAND it makes a real vacuum (vrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm) sound. Which, of course, was the reason that Anna was terrified of it. And so it has been languishing in an upstairs closet, until such time as Mommy realized the brothers might like to have a go at it.

And boy, have they.

Jack likes the upright vacuum part; Thomas prefers the dustbuster.
When Jack gets the vacuum, he drags it behind the red chair and just sits there with it, enjoying being alone and at peace with his cleaning instrument.
Thomas "dustbusts" like a runaway train. He gets on his knees and slides it the length of the carpet, scattering any dust, or toys, or sisterly toes that happen to get in his way.

To conclude... this last photo is now, officially, my ALL TIME favorite shot involving one of my children.

Go ahead: I DARE you to look at this and not start singing the theme from Ghostbusters.

Standard or Automatic?

When it comes to potties (sp?), for us the answer is clear: an automatic flush strikes terror into the heart of my toilet-training toddler. This became painfully clear while using the Thruway rest-stop bathrooms with Anna for the first time on our trip to Rochester.

Neither of us were prepared for what was to happen. She lept off the potty and screamed bloody murder. Now she regards new potties with even more suspicion, and acts much like someone trying to size up the condition of a used car: she makes a slow lap around, looking at it from every angle, not touching it at first and then giving it a good kick in the tires (or bowl, in this case) to see how it will react.

Thankfully, at the next stop we were able to use a handicapped bathroom which--hallelujah!--had a manual flush. As illogical as that may be.

Anyway: she may have been dehydrated by the time we got to Rochester (heh heh a joke! a joke!), but we were 2 for 2 (well, 1.5 for 2 considering the auto-flush related leakage) and had no potty related accidents in the car.

Anyway was quite funny going into the rest stop with Anna. Even thought she had been in them before, it was like a whole new world to her. We walk into the building and she's like: "Is there a potty in here Mommy? I don't see a potty. I don't think they have a potty in here."

And then, overheard by the person in the stall next to ours: "I'm going to whip you now! whip! whip!"

Right, that would be Anna, holding the strap from my shoulder bag, getting silly and vocal while I am trying to use the potty myself.

Hopefully the folks in the bathroom stalls on either side of us were from NYC. Then they've definitely heard worse :)