Do You Sea Band?

Well, Jack does.

And they kind of work. Almost. We were just turning onto 256th Street in Riverdale (my friend lives approx 10.6 miles up the West Side Highway from our apartment) when Jack coughed and threw up. But the spray was minimal. And since I hadn't given him any food for a couple of hours, not much came up. He didn't even seem that upset.

And, to be honest, in Jack's mind I think the discomfort of throwing up was totally outweighed by the uber-stylishness of the bracelets that only he got to wear. This photo was taken the next day, mind you, after Jack overheard me telling Jenny about the bracelets and our trip and insisted on putting them on again.
(And for those of you who are wondering, on the day of the BBQ his shirt color was not coordinated with his bracelets. Merely a lucky coincidence for the photo.)

And the really good news is that for the trip home I think I had both bracelets properly placed over the "pressure point", and Jack--featuring a dangerously loaded stomach full of hot dog and hamburger bun and tortilla chips--did not throw up. He even looked somewhat reasonably comfortable sitting in the car, and I didn't get the "You expect me to get into that thing?" look as we approached it to buckle him in.

So I am mildly optimistic about the Sea Band Motion Sickness Relief Bands, and at this point I am left to wonder what else the "ancient science of accupressure" can do for me.
Thanks for the tip, Gwammy and Great Gwammy. Stay tuned for our next report, when we'll attempt a 30 minute car trip with a stomach full of Saltines...

Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be All Right

Thomas is a boy who sees the world through yellow-tinted glasses. Whether that makes him an optimist or not, only time will tell. But for now, everything is surely "lellow".

He's also accumulated a very interesting set of words. Here are the highlights:

• wow!
• cool!
• more!
• cra-cker!
• me me me
• bu-bble
• ball
• beeeeeee (bird)
• geeeeeee (give)
• hello
• bye bye
• no!
  
• Anna, Mommy, Daddy, Ne-nny (Jenny), and some kind of aaaaahhhhh (Jack)
  
• of course, the ubiquitous ma-moon (balloon).

But by far his best word is the way he says 'yes'.
He says 'yeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh' in a very slow and laid back sort of way that makes him sound Jamaican. Very Bob Marley. Quite hilarious. And completely at odds with his more normal Type-A approach.

Move Over, Bacon

Now there's something new!

That's right, after nearly two years in the soft glow of his sister's good graces, Jack's position as the favored son is suddenly... no more.
And it's quite officially official: I can tell you that the high chair has been moved. Anna now sits next to Thomas on the other side of the table.

Why did this all come about?
And why so suddenly?

Only Anna really knows. She has offered two explanations:

• Jack is mad at me.
• Mommy, I want to 'take turns with my loving'...

While Shopping for My Sons At Claire's...

Wait! Did I just write that out loud?

Ah, well. It's true: Jack and Thomas love beaded necklaces. They have a daily fight over the green sparkly one. Yes, it's always Mardi Gras around here...

(And don't think this is a 'just Jack' thing. Thomas is heavily involved in this, too. He, however, tends to opt for the single strand of fake pearls. Timeless. Classic.)

File This Under 'Act Natural'

Make no mistake: this is the level of drama we bring to every situation.

Born In The USA

Springsteen album cover?
Nah, it's just Jack.
I discovered him trying to stick the Princess Ariel clamshell phone into his diaper.
Not down it, mind you, just into it.

As if he was wearing one of those phone cases that you clip to your belt.
Just like Jenny does. Just like Diana does.
But they wear a belt (or at least pants).
And they also have a case.

Details, details.

First and Ten

Yet another purple-leopard-print-headbanded phenom to throw into next year's Heisman mix...

In Hot Pursuit

Thomas. A duck.

Scene From An Elevator

The Jamisons enter the elevator on the 17th Floor.
The elevator door closes.

Thomas yells 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh', runs to the back of the elevator, grabs the railing, and begins his gymnastics routine.
Jack attempts to ram the closed doors with his baby stroller. And again. And again.
Anna guards the elevator buttons, taking (loving) swipes at her brother's heads whenever they get close enough to threaten her absolute control.

The elevator door opens on the 6th Floor.
The young man and woman waiting to get on quickly assess the situation and decide they really need to go back to their apartment for something...

Tall/Grande/Vente Explained

That's right Anna, little sheep are called 'lambs'.
Just like little humans are called babies. And big humans are called adults.

[pause. Anna thinks about all this.]

"And medium humans are called big sisters!"

Gardening In The Urban Jungle

Nobody ever promised that it wouldn't involve a few risks (trowel to the cranium, flipping over a guardrail or two...)

I Want My MTV

The TV in our family room has not been working properly for a while.
The familial stress caused by it going blank in the middle of another Blues Clues (just as Joe had gotten a letter, no less) was simply too great. We had to get a new one.
So the men from the Hi-Fi store came.
They had to first take down the old TV so they could put the new one in its place.

As soon as Jack saw them start to lift that TV off the wall, he pointed, yelled, and ran at them with Elgin-Marble-theft-like indignation. He kept shouting "D! D!" (his sort of combo word for TV and DVD) and looking at me, astonished that I was letting these guys get away with this.

We were all relieved when, a few minutes later, the new one was lifted into its place.

The Doctor Is -- In --

Come one, come all. Lately, Anna has had an answer for everything. The following are some of her words of wisdom.
For free.

General

• I told Anna she needed to try to go to the bathroom before she went out to the park. She told me it wasn't necessary, that she would just pee in the park by a tree.
  
  Ignoring the obvious approach here, I tried a different tack: I reminded her that if she peed in the park she wouldn't have any privacy, and did she really want everyone watching her while she peed?
  The answer:
  "Well... I can just look away
  [dramatic sweep of her right palm upwards]
  and put up my stop hand."
  
  
• I asked Anna why she had stepped right on my purse, which was, in fact, on the floor. She told me it was because "I hadn't put it away properly".
  
  
• Anna ran up to me and told me that she was going to give me a sticker for participating. I asked her what 'participating' means. She told me
  "Participating means doing what your teacher says."
  
  
• With the bathtub letters, Anna made the word h-a-m and then sounded it out.
  Then babysitter Anna asked little Anna what ham is.
  "Hmmnn, ham... it's a kind of bologna."
  
  
• Anna, why won't you eat your corn? You love corn. You like corn muffins, right?
  "Well... I like a little bit of corn, and a little bit of muffin."
  
  
• Anna, why is the bathroom floor wet? Did you have an accident?
  "That's not pee, it's muck. Muck is a kind of water that is very dirty and lives on the floor."
  

Fashion

• Anna, why do you only wear dresses? You need to start wearing some of your skirts.
  "But dresses are more beautiful for me!"

• Anna and Tommy are playing with the trains.
  Anna has one of the people that sit in the train cars.
  Tommy is crying. Anna took his train.
  I tell Anna she can't take the train that Tommy is using.
  "But Mommy, I need a train with a seat that matches his outfit!"

Existential

• "Mommy, can the meat talk because it's taco (aka talk-o) meat?"
  
  
• Anna and I saw a photo of Bompa (great grandpa). Anna told me Bompa was with her other "die friends"--Great Grandma and her fish.
  
  
• After a reflective pause:
  "Mommy, you need a new Grandma and I need a new fish!"
  

Why Thomas Is Smarter Than I Am

(1) Because 5 minutes into his first ever preschool interview, the director announced he was a genius. I had never seen Thomas hold a crayon such as he did on that day.
Like a 5 year old would, the director said.
Highly unusual for a 1 year old. I nodded solemnly and in agreement.

Thomas sat in front of his paper and selected his crayons and began to draw. He drew lines, he drew squigglies, he drew zig-zags, up-downs, and near circles. He tried out different colors; he tried out different ends of the crayon.
When told to stop drawing on the table, he immediately returned to the paper.

(2) Because he sees Ma-Moons (aka Balloons) wherever he goes.

Thomas holds up his toy stethoscope by the ear parts and declares 'ma-moon!'.
(Get it? the ear parts , when touching each other, form the "balloon" and the dangly part that goes on your chest is the balloon's "string")

Thomas places a Magneto ball on top of two other Magneto sticks and declares 'ma-moon!'.

I draw a cat face on a piece of paper for him. Whiskers, ears, everything. Thomas looks at it, draws a single line from the bottom of the cat's face down to the edge of the paper. Thomas declares 'ma-moon!'.

(3) Because he has a fantastic tummy, and when he walks he always leads with it.

(4) Because he can slam dunk a toy basketball into our 'dishdrawer' dishwasher.
Impressive, if also slightly annoying.

Oh, Superman!

I just knew you'd come!

(Anna channelling Lois Lane on the way to the park.)

Well, We Made It To The Parking Lot

...of the Bronx Zoo today. Literally, we were next in line in the car to pay to enter the zoo.
And then Jack threw up.
Sigh.
He seems to be able to go about 20 minutes max in the car; then it all just comes out.
And now he remembers--when he saw the car this morning, he started to scream.

I guess this means we can never, ever live anywhere with Jack except NYC.
Or an even more sobering thought: I don't even think we can make it to JFK to fly anywhere.
And, as Daddy pointed out, I don't know how we'll ever be able to get rid of this car. Thus far no amount of deodorization has provided satisfactory results.

Oh, well. Despite the fact that we had come prepared for car sickness (bucket, wipes, towels, etc), neither of us thought to bring Jack an extra pair of clothes. Let's just say it was a good thing that this was the first day since last year where you could be comfortable running around in a shirt and a diaper.

I, however, did not have that option.
Did I mention that Jack threw up a second time once I had unbuckled him and put him on my lap?

Oh, yes.

Anna, at least, had settled upon a clear strategy for this kind of thing:
"If Jack throws up on me, I'm going to throw up on him back!"

Thomas Can Blow His Nose

All by himself.
Really: he holds the tissue, blows and wipes.

Now, if anyone has any suggestions about how to get him to stop eating the Kleenex afterwards, please email me.

[note: we don't actually let him eat it. but he always tries.]

Uh, Make That a Double

There are times when you just know that one Elmo Punch juice box is not going to get it done.

A Portrait of the Artists...

as preschoolers and toddlers.
Ho-hum. Just another day in the studio.

Mikimoto? Gerber?

I could think of more than a few proud sponsors for this photo...

Why Anna Is Smarter Than I Am

[Part two of a three-part series. See the first installment here.]

Because she asks questions like:
"Mommy, why does 'Sit down!' and 'Sit up!' mean the same thing?"

And it takes me a good five minutes to get an answer together.
For such blatant opposites, there is a surprising amount of sublety involved there. I was impressed.

Approaching Infinity

... from the preschooler side of things.

Snippet of conversation between Anna and I, as I try to reinforce the concepts of value, larger, and smaller:
Me: So, Anna, if I asked you if you want 11 Hershey's Kisses or 12 Hershey's Kisses, which would you choose?
Anna: [giggling] 12!

She likes this game. Eventually, we get to her choosing between 28 Hershey's Kisses and 29 Hershey's Kisses. She makes the correct choice, and then asks me why 29 is the. biggest. number.

I tell her (in my best algebra teacher voice) that there is no 'biggest number', that we can always think of a number that is one larger than the one we have. Feeling that I am on solid intellectual footing here (trust me: this is nothing compared to the 'heaven' discussions we have had), I proceed with my "Well, what's a bigger number than 29? Thirty!" and so on and so on examples.

After a few of these she looks at me:
"Yeah, Mommy, ok, but what number is the roof?"

Which I thought was a pretty cool way of putting it.

Vitruvi-Anna Man

Think Da Vinci, think the circles.
Anna is now very much into detail when it comes to drawing. Brains, hair, ears, fingers, toes--they're all usually there.
All right. Let's do the tour.

The Balloon Period
The top one at left is of Anna and Mommy holding balloons in a little bit of wind.
The bottom picture is of Mommy holding a balloon (note the use of fingers) while lots of wind is blowing all around her. The lower circle is where you blow the balloon up. Anna signed this one in a seperate circle towards the bottom right. In a very original, mirror-like way.
It is generally agreed that this period has its genesis in the influence of her balloon-crazy brother, Tommy.

The Intestine Period
For a few weeks, Anna would not leave these internal organs out of any drawing she considered 'finished'
Not after we ordered a book about the human body from the Scholastic Book Order.
(Remember? The book order you did through your elementary school. Before Amazon, this was a big deal. At least to me.)

Evidently, the digestion/intestines page made the biggest impression on Anna. She was including them in all her drawings of humans and still points them out wherever squiggly lines are found. In some of the funniest places.

(Really, go ahead: look for some on the Passenger Safety Information Card next time you're on a plane.
And also on the 'Plastic Man' superhero stamp now available from the post office. As in:
[whiny voice] "But Mooooommy, we need to get the intestinnnnnnnnnnnes stamps...")

Sadly, there are currently no known examples from this period in existence.

The 'Scapes' Period
(Scapes being my shorthand for any type of outdoor scene on a grand scale. Click on the image for a larger view.)

The first drawing is of Jack, Mommy, and Thomas standing on mountains. When I asked her why she hadn't drawn herself, she told me that I couldn't see her because she was taking the picture.

The second drawing is tentatively titled 'Under the Sea'. Note the waves at the top, octopus in the middle, and various crocodile- and sqirrel-like fish swimming about.

The third picture is a double 'scape', of sorts. The bottom is Mommy scuba diving. Note my horizontal position, helmet and air hose. The top part is Anna in space. When I asked her what all the up and down lines across her legs are, she told me those were her 'space leggings'. Fashion forward, as always. Originally she had told me that she was going to draw her and I scuba diving together. When I asked her why she didn't draw herself under the water as well, she told me:
"I didn't draw me, Mommy, because you were too big. So I went on a planet mission." Oh.

The final drawing is of a horse and some other creatures. I like the tail, ears, and legs. And large smile.

A Bit of Brother Yin and Yang

Thomas throws sand.
Jack eats it.

Let's be honest: neither wins them a lot of friends on the playground.
Oh, and you've heard of snow angels? Thomas really loves to make sand angels.

But the good news is, they both can now do air guitar.
Maybe to you it looks more like scratching their tummy than strumming a tune, but we know the truth. Just a little something to add to their arsenal of party tricks :)


Oh, and on the advice of Uncle Wesley they've recently started taking CNBC very seriously.

What a Preschool Teacher Said To Me

"Anna was a bit upset today. I thought she had to go to the bathroom, so I asked her about it. Anna told me I have to make a poo. I ate a lot of food and now it's stuck in my butt."

It is moments such as these that make you want to be an educator, is it not?
--
Other bathroom related anecdotes:

Anna needed help getting 'unstuck' from the toilet seat. When I got to the bathroom she told me:

"Someone's pulling my butt into the potty! [pause...]
It's my fish."

Uh, that would be the fish that we had flushed into fish heaven a few weeks ago.

Anna has learned the concept of the women's bathroom and the men's bathroom. One day at the pizza place the door to the women's bathroom was locked. I explained this was because there was only one toilet in there, and someone was using it.
She thought about this for a moment.
It was at that point she started to hollar "Get out! Get out! Get out!" very loudly.

Almost forgot: as of 5 nights ago, Anna wears underwear at night. She decided to. So far, so good.

Things I Didn't Know Before I Was A Mom

(by no means an exhaustive list, just things that occurred to me recently...)

• conjunctivitus = pink eye. Recently I threw that big word around a few times as if it was the equivalent of, say, tuberculosis or something. Nope. Pink eye.
  
• A rooster is a male chicken. A hen is a female chicken.
• Infections (like pneumonia) can have bacterial or viral causes. Still a little hazy on the specifics. Definitely should google that one. Very fortunately, haven't really needed to.

More to come, I'm sure.

Man Discovers Fire

(to the strains of "The Blue Danube"...)

Thomas is sitting on the Aquadoodle mat.
Thomas draws a circle.
Thomas points to it, looks up and says 'ball!'.
Thomas smiles.

The Passenger Safety Information Card

You know, the thing tucked right in front of the barf bag in the seat pocket in front of you.
Ever actually read it (or for that matter, even wanted to touch it)?
That's OK, you can just ask Anna about it.

Anna's interpretation of the scenes depicted on that glossy trifold card were truly unbelievable. For the benefit of her daughter, Blue, who was travelling with us, Anna went over that card from beginning to end. Extremely loudly. And in much, much more detail than the airline steward-people could ever dream of. Oh how I wished for a simple, old fashioned tape recorder! I managed to write a few things down: (say... as a fun way to pass the time, next time you're on a plane see if you can match these to the scenes on the card :)

• if a car comes, we need to stop the plane.
• you have to wear a coat.
• be safe.
  
• no throwing. and no throwing up!
  
• you have to stay close with your Mommy else we will take you somewhere else
• you have to take a picture
  

Some of these I get, some I do not. This went on for at least 10 minutes. It was like a stand-up comedy routine. Except that she was extremely serious about educating Blue about our plane. Finally, when she was satisfied, she folded up the card and put it away. And then...

"So... Mommy, are we blasting off soon?"

You Talkin' To Me?

Yes?

Then you're talking to my brother, too.

And that's sippy cup.
Sippy.
S-i-p-p-y.
Got it? 'Sissy' has nothing to do with it...

On The Road With Anna

Anna and I went to Rochester to say goodbye to my Grandma. It is a trip no one ever wants to make, but Anna, as usual, always makes the best out of things.
Even when she has no idea she is doing it.
--

To make a long story short: our first attempt to get to Rochester involved driving with all three of the children. Jack made short work of that idea by managing to throw up twice before we crossed the George Washington Bridge. At that point, Mommy unilaterally invoked (at least the idea of a) Plan B. After an extended cleanup at a Palisades Parkway rest stop, the family car did a quick U-turn back towards the relatively rose-scented shores of Manhattan.

Which is why Anna and I ended up flying to Rochester and coming back the next day. She said some truly amazing things:

• Overheard by everyone standing in the very, very long line at the Jet Blue women's bathroom:
  
  "Hold your pee, Mommy, it's not our turn!"
  
  She said this very, very loudly.
  This after complaining for at least five minutes about (1) the fact that she did NOT have to go to the bathroom and then following it up with (2) the fact that there was a line. And then she tried to make me look like the flaky one.
  
  
• For a brief, very brief moment, I thought that, perhaps, Anna favoring Jack might be waning a bit. As it turns out, Anna was just being practical, and is still very much partial.
  
  "I want to travel with just Thomas.
  [Wow! all right! I am good!]
  Because he doesn't get 'the sickness' in the car."
  
  
• And then, back to old form as far as Jack. But this time on the sly:
  
  "Hey Mommy, I am very good at carrying around dark-haired little boys..."
  

--
And then, before bed: "Mommy, I can't find heaven on my globe."
Sigh.

Why Jack Is Smarter Than I Am

(1) It's morning. It's early. Or late. I can't remember.
Anyway, for some reason I am sitting on the floor with my bowl of Grape Nuts watching Thomas and Jack watch Blues Clues.

This, of course, lasts for about 5 seconds, at which point the brothers get a whiff of that (surprisingly aromatic) cold cereal. They pounce. They both love Grape Nuts. We do the communal spoon thing. Quite a bonding moment. Tiny Grape Nut nuts everywhere.

After about two spoonfuls, Jack stops and runs to the kitchen. I hear a drawer open. I hear rustling in the 'kid tableware' drawer. Cups are tumbling. Bowls are clanking.
At this point, I choose to apply what I refer to as my '3-child-Zen-groggy-brain' technique (thank you, Uma), in the form of:
Hmnnn, what's the worse that could happen?

... and just try to enjoy the sound of plastic cups and spoons being scattered about.
After a while, I hear the drawer close.
Then Jack is back. He hands me one of Anna's breakfast trays (think multiple compartments for cereal, yogurt, fruit, etc) and points to the table. Good idea, buddy.

(2) Have you read Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do you Hear?
I was reading it to the boys the other night. When we got to the page about the hippopotamus, I read it with the usual gusto. Did you know that "the sound" that hippos make is a 'snort'? Yep. And so I dutifully did my best snort.
And then, for the first time ever, Jack looked at me, literally tossed his head back, and delivered an absolutely perfect 'snort-snort'.
He was really proud of himself; it was cute. I just really hope this doesn't mean that he is going to be one of those guys who tries to impress girls by burping.

(3) We were just snapping photos at the playgroud one day. I didn't notice anything unusual. Tonite I happened to be looking at the photos and, of course, this sequence caught my eye.

On behalf of Anna, I think I need to explain--Anna is a champion layerer. In this photo, she is wearing a sweater, a dress, a shirt under the dress, tights, pants and a skirt between the dress and the pants. I have no doubt that when she sat down to 'drive the wheel', all that bulk caught up with her and she just moved it to the rear. I have to say that I'm slightly embarrassed that I didn't notice and help her a bit.
But clearly Jack did.
Now I'm not exactly sure if this belongs under the 'Jack is smarter than me (er, I mean I)' heading, but I suppose it at least makes him more observant.
And hopefully not alarmingly fresh as far as the ladies are concerned.

The Racket

Jack and Thomas see something they like.
Something they think is cool.
Jack's the front man; he grabs it when you're not looking. In this categrory might be things like babysitter Meredith's leather belt, or Ella's dad's shoehorn, or the hairclip that Mommy is curently wearing in her hair. They're all his now.

And this is when he passes them over to Tommy, who does the dirty work behind, or in this case "underneath" the scenes--Tommy attempts to shove each of these objects underneath large household furniture or appliances.

Many often never to be heard from again.
Others to be sold on the urbanbaby black market...

And who'd want to mess with these two wiseguys to try to get their stuff back? Not me, I assure you.
(Teddy bear shirt nothwithstanding...)

The (Mon-Wed-Fri) Ladies Of The Brownstone School

I have been meaning to post this sooner, but here they are in all their Princess slipper greatness--Anna and her school buddies.

What's In You

Well, if Gatorade is asking, Anna knows for sure.

After a fantastic birthday party for her friend Katharine wheere they did all kinds of gymnastics and tumbling, Anna was pretty sure about where her skills lie. She told me:

"I have imagination [dramatic sweep of finger up towards her brain]
and balance [dramatic knee bend into crouch position]
inside my body."

Wow. I mean, she did tell me that she had made it across the balance beam with no helping hands, and that she and Sam were the first ones to climb up into something called a 'volcano'. Sounds impressive, eh?

She has since amended her statement; something called 'creations'(creativity?) is now on the list as well. Stay tuned.

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

In the last month or so, for the first time ever, Anna has made some announcements:

• "When I grow up, I want to be a fish collector.
  I want to work at the fish store."
  (Hmmnn. All this as we comtemplate laying out, uh, 25K for a NYC Kindergarten education) Gee, I'm really glad that Petco opened that store up on 92nd & Broadway. At least we'll know she's nearby.
  

• "I want to be an astronaut so that I can see the earth when I am 36.
  And I'll go with my brothers when they are 21."

• Every night while we are putting on the brother's pajamas, we are required to close the door completely.
  So that Anna can knock on the outside of the door, and we can say 'Come in!'.
  So that Anna can announce that she is the baby nurse and that she is "an expert at taking care of babies". As in: "When they cry, I can give them things!"
  By far the best part of this routine is the alter-egos she selects in the form of her name. They all see to be some variation of 'Freya', who happens to be the very nice lady who plays the piano during Anna's ballet class. Who we have never spoken to except during the 'hello' song at the beginning of class.
  Nonetheless: in the past few weeks the name of the friendly brother baby nurse knocking at our door has been Freya, Fernanda, Frendita and Frendada to name a few. I keep asking about her sister Frittata--what's she been up to? I've heard she a good egg.
  heh heh.
  Anna doesn't get it.
  

So... fish 'collector' (impossible to tell at this point if PETA will be protesting in front of our home or not), astronaut, or baby nurse. Not a bad start at all.

The Ice(Cream)Man Cometh

And not a hint of despair here!
Anna has spotted the truck at least three times now in the last two weeks, despite the fact that last weekend also brought us several inches of snow.

Yes, indeed: spring is here.

We Are Now Accepting Requests

... for the 2007 Summer Vacation session.

Get on our calendar early, as it is likely we'll be booked up and you definitely do not want to miss out on this kind of fun, fashion, and athleticism all rolled into one preschool-sized package.

We bring all our own summer equipment (as you can see) and travel extremely well as long as goldfish and a portable DVD player are provided. Don't miss out!

Thomas is From Mars, Jack is From Venus

Let's all go outside for a walk!
Great! Here, Thomas, I'll get you all ready and then you stand next to me by the door and wait while I get Jack all suited up.

Thomas stood by the front door for upwards of one minute while I was getting Jack's hat, coat, and shoes on. Thomas cried, moaned and wailed that the door wasn't open.

Finally, I finished getting Jack ready.
Jack walked right over to the door, opened it, and immediately ran down the hall.

ps Thomas *knows* how to open the door, by the way. He just didn't.
I suppose that makes him at the same time (1) a better listener and (2) a bigger whiner than Jack. I can't tell if I think that this is a good thing.

Saturday In The Park

Uh, that would be last Saturday, by the way. Today was decidedly slushier.

The Birth Of The Modern, Part II

By way of context, here's my little chain of after-dinner disciplinary outcomes:
- If you hit Jack on the head, you go to timeout.
- If you refuse to go to timeout, you go to your room and to bed. Right away.

Sure enough, Jack got bopped on the head, Anna refused to go to timeout, I carried Anna up to her room screaming, she freaked out with Daddy and I for some time but eventually was in bed well before 7PM.

The next morning I tried to go over everything with her. I wanted to make sure that she understood how everything had happened. And OK I'll admit--basically, I never wanted to go through all that again.

Me: Anna, if you hit Jack, you will have to go to timeout.
Anna: OK, Mommy.
Me: If you won't go to timeout, you will have to go to your room and go right to bed.
Anna: OK, Mommy.
[pause]
Anna: [big smile] And if I don't go to my room, then I can come down and play!"

Hmmnnn. Think we're making progress here?

Anna Quotes

I have to say, the hits are coming fast and furious at this point. Here's a sample:

• A very good friend of Anna's gave her the book Not Norman: A Goldfish Story as a particularly personal and thoughtful item in his birthday party's goody bag.
  Norman is a fish. Norman's owner got the fish for his birthday, but what he really wanted was a real pet (like a dog), or even a cat, or a ferret or anything--just not Norman. He decides that he wants to trade Norman in for some other pet. But not before learning a valuable life lesson and deciding to keep Norman for his uniquely lovable qualities.
  All in all, a great book. Anna really seemed to like it.
  Maybe this is why:
  "Mommy, can we take Thomas in to the pet store and trade him in for a real pet?"
  
  
• Anna and Jenny were headed to Cole's house last week. Anna was whining. Big time. So I used the old standby 'Now what is Cole going to say when you show up at his house whining like this...', etc, etc. She looked at me like I was a complete simpleton and let me in on the master plan:
  "Mommy, I'm going to stop whining when I get to Cole's!"
  Ah.
  
  
• Today was a big day. A birthday party for one of Anna's good friends from school. I can't remember the exact context of this quote, but at one point this morning Anna looked up from wrapping the present and announced:
  "I use lip balm. I wear it so that I will have moist lips..."
  
  
• Anna likes to set the table. She is very focused on it. So I've tried to give her some insight into the whole serving spoons/soup spoons and dinner forks/dessert forks concepts. I think she gets it.
  She now refers to the serving spoons as 'uppercase spoons' and the soup ones as 'lowercase spoons'. Ditto for forks.
  
  
• Do you remember that period of life when your little sister would make up jokes and then tell you them? Over and over? I do. And Anna is officially in the "joke-making" stage. Here's her latest gem:
  "Thomas is a giraffe."
  [cue fantastic smile] "I made a joke."
  "Heh heh."
  
  
• Some words that Anna tosses around: amazing, frustrated, interesting, "in general" and scrambled.
  
  

Let's Call A Spade A Spade

Anna: "Daddy, what do you do at work?"
Steve: "Well, I... talk to people. I get ideas."

Anna: "Well... are you going to make some money?"

Our Lips Are Sealed

Really, A. We won't tell anyone about your very 'Go-Go's-esque' big hair days. Really.

For the record, there was no hair spray involved here. This hair just happened. And when I asked her about the hose, she told me that was her microphone. The Sesame Street Platinum: All Time Favorites Album was playing. It all makes sense.

The Day. The Fiiiiiiiish-y Died.

That's right. Nemo is dead. It was a good, happy seven months.
A moment of silence, please.

And let's not get into any blame games here: it is nothing more than an extremely sad and unfortunate coincidence that this happened so soon after her brother's venture into his tank.

So I had a long talk with Anna about all this. I think she got it.
I told her we loved Nemo and took care of him, but sometimes fish get sick and then they die.
I told her when things die, they can't come back anymore.
I told her we should send Nemo back to the ocean, where he belongs.

I told her we should flush him down the toilet.

She leveled her gaze at me for several seconds. I waited. I had nothing else. I kept thinking: what would Calvin's Daddy (see below) say at a time like this?

Fortunately, her mental process was evidently more focused on the likelihood that, at long last, she would finally be able to really use the little net that came with her magnetic fishing game, as opposed to any lengthy existential discovery process.

She asked me if we could use her net to get him out, I said yes, and she was thrilled.
We dumped him in the toilet, said a few kind words, and then she flushed him.

When Steve came home that night and asked her about him, her summary went like this:
He died. We put him in the toilet. Can we get another one?

Phew! Kudos to Mommy for evidently avoiding any long-term emotional scars...

--

Calvin and Hobbes: best comic ever. Calvin's Daddy comes up with imaginative explanations for natural phenomena that Ptolemy would be proud of. Calvin (at 5 or 6 years) and his Dad also have some fantastic 'intellectual' exchanges. Here's one given on Wiki:

Calvin: "Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all of the opportunities you botched?"

Calvin's father: "If I were, you can bet I'd be re-evaluating my strategy."

Calvin (later, to his mother): "Mom, Dad keeps insulting me."

The Finer Points Of Peek-A-Boo

Here we go:

1. Don't allow the person you're trying to surprise to see and hear you as you start to run all the way across the open expanse of living room (granted this is a New York City apartment but still--you're surrendering the element of visual surprise here) while shouting at the top of your lungs.
2. Uh... try to find something, anything to hide behind (even if just for a second) before you get right in your target's face and finally yell 'BOO!'.
   

I am sure, at some point soon, Thomas will realize the ineffectiveness of his current strategy.
But don't worry--as our longtime readers may recall, we have worked through these kinds of issues before.

Have I Mentioned That She Can Pump?

Hello, spring!
Anna can swing.

By herself.
As of today.

Double Jepoardy

Let me tell a little crime story here.
Thomas and Jack climb everywhere. But more than anywhere else, where they want to climb is onto the window ledge. There are lots of interesting things up there--the newspaper bin, the HVAC unit controls, and, of course, Anna's fish tank.

This is how I caught them this morning (see photo left). Jack I could have easily charged with ' unauthorized button pressing with intent to randomize climate control', while Tommy was definitely in 'reckless endangerment (acquatic-style)' territory. Clearly, these guys were guilty. I mean, just look at their faces when they found out they'd been caught (see photo right). You can just feel the remorse.

At any rate, I wasn't into anything cruel and unusual this early in the morning (note the lack of any daylight whatsoever in the background) so I decided to let them off easy. I knocked their charges down to ' Didn't listen to Mommy. Not at all.' plus some time served in time-out. And I think their little stint there went a long way towards teaching them a lesson.

I mean: look at Tommy (see photo below). It was daytime before I let the kid out of there. We had put him in the blue prison sweats and everything, just for effect.

But, honestly, you never really can tell with kids. And so, later in the morning, when I discovered them both squatting next to fish tank and watched as Tommy pulled the cover off and Jack leaned in for the catch, I have to say I was a bit surprised. I didn't even think to grab my camera...

If This Isn't Fabulous

... then I just don't know what is.
Have I mentioned that Jack loves accessories?

He also loves to brush the hair of anyone who will submit to his slightly aggressive grooming techniques (think Norman Bates meets Frédéric Fekkai. Eee! Eee! Eee!). We definitely keep any hard bristles and all combs away from Jack.

I have always thought that the hair brushing was really cute.
Until about a week ago, when he was brushing my hair.
After his bath.
Before I had had a chance to get his diaper on.
And let me tell you: as soon as I felt the creeping dampness on back of my shirt, I swore to myself (no matter how talented they say he is!) I am *never* coming back to this salon.

Finally!

Woo hoo! Houston, we have basketball interest amongst the offspring. Sighted and now documented in the first born son.
Thomas has been throwing all kinds of things for a while now, but only recently has anything gone in the general direction of the hoop.

And never, ever had he attempted a bit of dribbling.
Until tonite, that is.

Pink Is The New... Blue

Thanks, Gwammy. Thank you for opening up an entirely new slice of the color wheel to Anna.

Ever since you came two weeks ago and convinced Anna to wear those pink sleepers you got her for Christmas, Anna has been wearing pink. It has happened slowly, and she is by no means eschewing her beloved blue, but the past two days she has come downstairs dressed in head-to-toe pink.

Culminating in this statement to Jenny this morning:
"I like pink.
And I'm going to wear blue in the summer."

And then, like the gracious and fashion-aware New Yorker that she is, she inquired after Jenny's color choice for this summer. She was shocked to learn that Jenny had yet to select her summer hue.

If Grace Kelly Had Bear Paws

OK this is not a good photo. It is really blurry. And it doesn't come anywhere close to doing justice to the huge, blue, "bear paws" mittens that Jill gave Anna for Christmas. That I nearly have to physically pry off of Anna's body at bedtime.

(The good news: spring is coming soon.
The bad news: I am quite sure they'll fit her next year.)

But as a mom (much less the bad photographer) I am able to ignore photo quality and just love her in her hood, scarf, and Dora sunglasses. I find the whole thing vaguely To Catch a Thief, minus the French Riviera, the convertible, and of course, Cary Grant. Details.




At any rate--some fun lines delivered by the princess herself while walking with Mommy in the bitter cold:

• Anna asked me about all the little white rocks on the ground.
  I told her they were salt, and tried to explain how that helps melt the ice. Without actually being 100% sure myself.
  So I complete my big explanation and she looks up at me and says "OK... well... then what does pepper do?"
  
• A sign of too much Blue's Clues?
  "Mommy, look--I'm going to skadoo into that puddle!"
• Right now Anna is very interested in knwing what direction we're going when we walk places. She's seen the compass rose on her map puzzles and she knows that the 'S' is South, and it is always at the bottom.
  So we're walking down a gentle slope on Riverside Drive heading towards some playground and Anna proudly announces: "Mommy, we're walking south! South is down."
  

The Fork & The "It" Bag

Unrelated? I think not.

To Jack especially, I get the sense that utensils, particularly forks, seem a bit like a fashion accessory you just have to have. They are shiny and interesting and sometimes even have a cool (Thomas the Tank Engine or Dora) logo on them, but when it comes right down to it--and our metric is calories ingested per effort expended to get them in--Jack definitely feels that forks are not all that effective. Especially when compared to his hand.
I mean, Jack enjoys holding his fork. All meal long. Often the fork will still be clean by the end of it.

Sigh.
Sometimes I feel table manners are a bit hopeless. Some recent brother behavior:

• I'm sitting next to Jack. Jack spikes me in the arm with his fork.
  Before I can even take a breath to let loose with the discipline thing, his face completely changes (cue angelic smile), and he kisses my elbow. Then he just grins.
  
• Jack likes to eat bananas the 'real' way. I start him off and peel it half way.
  The other day he was eating one. He got this mischevious look on his face, picked up the floppy end of a peel--of course dislodging the banana's bottom half in the process--and started to make his vacuum sound as he wiped the "nozzle" of the peel all over his plate.
• Continuing on the "pretending food is a household object" track: one morning Jack, after peering into his bowl for some time, selected a single, quite (unusually!) large Raisin Bran flake, smiled, held it up to his ear and said 'Hello!'.
  
• Jack loves oatmeal. A lot. Can't get enough fast enough to satisfy him.
  In fact, he eats it with his hands! Both. It is not a pretty sight.
• Once at the table, Jack will take anything he can reach.
  Anna's napkin, Anna's fishstick, Thomas' cup--if it isn't actively being guarded, Jack will take it.
• Jack has this idea that the best position to be in while you are dining (in terms of digestion, of course) is to be seated with one foot up on the table. Just one. He tries to convince us of this every few days. So far we're not buying it.

Finally: some Thomas table stuff. Actually, compared to Jack, Thomas could consult on the Dining chapter of the next Peggy Post manners book. He's a superstar.

• When Thomas wants more, he uses his baby sign for more. Agressively. Over his head. Like he is clapping at a Bon Jovi concert. But at least it is clear, and his plate never leaves the table in an uncontrolled manner.
  
• When Thomas is enjoying what he is eating, he does this little Stevie Wonder head bopping dance at the table. It's really cute.
  

--

ps Alternative title to this post that I just can't let go of:
When Aesop Met Simon Doonan

Now, that is one fable I would love to read in the Observer.

Anonymous Bathroom Quotes

Let's just say it hasn't exactly been a sterling week for good bathroom habits. I am trying to look on the bright side and share some of the more humorous quotes:

• Mommy said I could wipe in what-ever direction I want!!
• But my body was telling me "I'm on the potty already!"...

But at least... ugh, ugh, ugh--I can't resist.
One of Anna's very good friends is a boy. So remember that really funny bathroom scene in Meet the Parents involving Ben Stiller and a zipper?

Riiiiiight. You got it.
Let's just say I am thankful that is one thing that didn't happen to us this week.

That is something I have to look forward to. Twice.

Mommy Made Prison Food

What can I say? It was in the Martha Stewart cookbook, it sounded kind of different, the brothers hadn't been eating that well, so I figured--
what the heck--
corn dogs and baked beans!

So I got it all done and I set it in front of Jack, and only then did I pause and think--
oh my--
corn dogs and baked beans.

Yep, I think I can pretty much kiss that third Michelin star goodbye, at least for this year.

Do Ya Doodle?

Aquadoodle, that is.
Thomas really likes it. He seems to be very interested in drawing. He's also very interested in sticking the pen up his nose.

But it's obvious that he is a really creative soul.

I remember this one time Thomas stopped drawing, got this funny look on his face, took a deep breath and then proceeded to sneeze all over the Aquadoodle mat.

The splatter pattern it created was quite impressive (if more than a little unsanitary). But hey, sterilizing the canvas every once in a while seems a small price to pay in the face of such talent. I mean, do you think Jackson Pollock was doing stuff like this at Thomas' age?

I think not.

We're Getting Very Zen

(1) Anna

Anna has a new favorite phrase. She uses it like this:

• (whine) aaaahhhh I don't want to wait [insert phrase here] for dinner!
• We're going to Cole's house for a long playdate and we're not coming home [insert phrase here]! Yaaaaaay!
  
• Jill, I don't want you to stay [insert phrase here]! I want you to stay longer!

Ready for it? Here you go:
"until the sun sets"

Go ahead, try it out. Pretty funny, eh? Best thing since Mad Libs :)
Anna knows that the sun sets around dinner time. Can't wait to try to explain Daylight Savings.

(2) Jack

If Jack had been a Native American, he absolutely would have been a medicine man.
If Jack had lived in the 19th century, he would have been one of those traveling salesman who went from small midwest town to small midwest town pulling a cart and declaring he had the cures to all your constitutional ailments.
Jack could have been one of those desert tribesmen in the English Patient who rescue Ralph Fiennes after his plane crashes, strap him on the back of their camel and treat all his burns with yogurt and cheesecloth. So that that fabulous movie starring Kristen Scott Thomas can go on. Did I mention she's my absolute favorite actress? Anyway, I digress.

Jack is all about creams, ointments, oils and lotions in attractive packaging. He will fight you for your Aquaphor. He wants to eat your baby lotion. Jack does not believe that the use of Desitin should be restricted to one's butt.
He loves it all, he believes in it all, and he wants to put it everywhere.
(By the way, we've already added "mortar and pestle" to next year's Christmas list, if you're keeping track at home...)

---

And then there's Tommy. Let's just say Tommy doesn't seem to be quite so into the whole "natural" thing. Not such a big distinction for him. The other day, he saw a little's girl's duckie backpack, walked right up to it (the backpack), took a swipe at the beak and let out a massive growl.
You can imagine the backpack's owner's reaction to all this. Fortunately, at the time it was strapped to the back of her stroller or things could have gotten awkward.

From the MSG and Yellow #6 Department

--as in, things that do not occur in nature.
Or at least that are really, really, really rare.

Thomas made a blue poo.
That's right: blue. And we are not talking some sissy periwinkle or powder blue here--this was a completely different Benjamin Moore swatch card. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't navy or even cobalt either, but definitely it was a blue with some gusto.

This didn't exactly come from nowhere. Over the previous couple of days Thomas had, in fact, just discovered blueberries. And I suppose eaten a few too many. But still: it was quite a shock.

Let's Make An Airplane

It was a neat idea. Anna put three plastic chairs in a row and declared that she was on JetBlue. Then she got all her babies strapped in (from back to front: Cookie Monster, Sad Winnie, Happy Winnie and Blue with Anna, Raphie & Elmo). Suffice it to say, the poor people sitting next to Anna and her brood were not exactly thrilled.

And let's not even start on how difficult it was to get them all loaded into two strollers and through security.

Who knew a blue coat hanger hanging off your stroller would seem so suspicious? And yes: Happy and Sad Winnie always travel wearing a tie and purple socks.

Sesame Street: The Inconvenient Questions

Recently, the kids have been watching Sesame Street. I thought this was all good. And then I am confronted with this logic:

• Anna trying to convince me that I should sleep in her room.
  "Mommy, but Bert & Ernie have seperate beds, in the same room..."
  
  
• "Mommy... why is Elmo all naked and red?"
  Well, Anna, Elmo is a... a... a bear. Right. And bears have fur. So, they don't need clothes.
  
  I mean, QED. Anyone can see that.
  Right--not exactly a scintillating response. A terrible punt, in any case. But it was late. I was just ready for everyone to go to sleep :)
  And she totally skewered me for it.
  
  "Well Mommy, I dress up my bears and my dogs..."
  
  She's got me there. For proof, I refer you to my next post.
  

Self Portrait With Mommy

"OK, Mommy.
You sit on the couch there and I'm going to set my camera down here and then
I'll press the cheese button
and run over by you."

I can not possibly express in words
quite how much
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the concept of
'the cheese button'.

Not to mention her assumption that her Fisher-Price kid tough camera had a self-timer that is not set to, uh, zero.

Oral Hy-jinx

Oh, yes.
We brush.
We have been for a few months now.

We also fight over the stool, fight over the toothpaste, think it is very funny to flick the light off and on while this is all happening, and on and on and on and on...

Jack and Phones, Part II

OK, I'll admit it: last night I put Jack to bed with a telephone.
It's a long story.

Basically, since Jack was sick last week, he has taken to waking up at either 10:30PM or 4AM (and sometimes both) screaming like a banshee. Or as I have never heard a banshee scream, maybe two cats fighting. I mean, it is bloodcurdling. And when I go up there, he is beyond angry. When I pick him up, he will go stiff and lunge towards the door. If I try to hand him his bear to soothe him, he will throw it away. He will not stop this until I leave the room. Once we are in the hall, he picks up the screaming again and lunges towards the stairs. He wants out. He wants away from his crib.

This had happened for several nights in a row, and generally I was able to calm him down by giving him a bit of water to drink. Last night I remember I had this big idea that enough is enough, I am just going to let him cry.

And then he woke up at 10:30. And I have no cliches to compare it to; he was completely unhinged. I went to get him and brought him downstairs. He took the cup of water (screaming all the while) and threw it on the couch. I tried milk. He did the same thing. He started pointing towards the kitchen.
To cut to the chase, Jack did not pause in his screaming until I handed him the kitchen phone.

And here is the scary thing: once he had a good hold on it, he started screaming again, just as before. His face was inches from the display, bathed in the phone's yellowish-orange glow. He held the phone with two hands and started pressing buttons and screaming and glowing yellowish orange like a carrot-colored madman.

It was completely freaky. He did this crazed button pressing/screaming thing for a good thirty seconds before he brought the intensity down a notch.

And that is when I gave him something to drink. He stayed calm. He eventually looked tired. I picked him up, handed him his bear, and tried to take the phone away from him as I started upstairs. Big mistake.

And that is when I took the battery out of the phone, replaced the battery cover, handed him his bear and his cell phone set him back down in his crib. I didn't hear a peep.

A half hour later I went back in. Jack was curled up, sleeping peacefully, hugging his bear and holding his phone. Evidently he had just been waiting for a call.

2 Bears and a Dog: A Portrait

This is what I found Anna doing when I walked out of the kitchen after cleaning up after dinner.

It isn't exactly Richard Avedon, but I still think it shows promise. She propped her animals up all by herself (from left to right: Happy Winnie, Sad Winnie & Ralphie the Dog), moved the stool back just the right distance from the counter to get the aritistic effect she was looking for, and then snapped this.

"Thomas Made Me Sick"

If the pace of the blog has slowed down a bit of late, it was mainly because last week was definitely one to forget.

All three kids sick. At both ends.
ok... that is all I have to say about that.

Suffice it to say, despite the fact that both Jack AND Thomas were sick, after extensive investigation (see this previous Dr. Anna post) Anna was able to identify the culprit.

Will You Be Mine?

doot doot doot doot
Tommy just got a letter
Tommy just got a letter
Tommy just got a letter
I wonder who it's from?

Thomas was so excited to receive his Valentines in the mail from Grandma and Gwammy that he went right into his Blues Clues 'Mail Time' dance.

Then, of course, he shoved them underneath the couch.
Hold onto your nail files, drumsticks, and small animals--they are all in play. The day we finally lift up that couch we are going to find a time capsule of assorted "sort of" flat things that Tommy liked and then were never heard from again...

Surely OSHA Has A Regulation About This?

A while ago, Anna had a brilliant idea.
Anna's favorite color is blue.
Her friend Sebastian's favorite color is red.

Due to random decorating & merchandising issues, Sebastian has a potty seat with a blue border (to match their bathroom) and Anna has a potty seat with a red border (that's all the store had left).

I am sure, at this point, that I do not have to point out the obvious opportunity for increasing everyone's level of chromatic happiness here. A simple exchange. The Coase Theorem, as applied to preschool bathroom habits. I can just see the Wharton case study now.

And that is exactly what Anna suggested. She wants to trade potty seats.

All would be perfect, if only we could get past those "sanitation-related" transactions costs in the form of that random eeeeewwwwww feeling that creeps in whenever I think about this. I'd also have to balance in the social unhappiness generated by Sebastian's parents thinking we are total freaks.

All in all, an unexpected rejoinder to the often-heard complaint "But when am I going to use this stuff in the real world?" I mean, you just never know. I have no doubt that Ronald Coase would be shocked...

Manners & Morals. Also Some Sass.

(1) Manners.

Jenny hands Anna something.
Anna takes it.
Jenny says "I didn't hear your 'thank you'."
Anna says "thank you".

[pause].

Anna says
"I didn't hear 'your welcome'..."


(2) Morals.

Anna gives Thomas a shove for using her blue train.
Daddy lets Anna know that she is in trouble for pushing Thomas.

[pause].

Anna wails
"But I didn't push Jaaaaack!"

Hmmmnnn. Right. I mean, somewhere that should count. Surely this is one of those perks to having twin brothers?

Fingers Up

... if you want to read some more Anna quotes.
Er, that would be thumbs up.
But I think Anna's version is much cuter :)

Here you go:

• Favorite phone questions:
• What state are you in?
• What is your email?
• Anna being tactful.
• Anna is sitting at the table at dinner time.
  Then: "Why are you not giving me my food, Mommy?"
  Translation: Hurry up.
  
• Anna is sitting at the table eating dinner.
  Then: "My throat feels kind of dry..."
  Translation: She wants some milk.
• Anna is playing.
  Then: "Something smells..."
  Translation: Time to change a brother's diaper.
• Anna playing with her kitchen & silverware set:
  "Jack is the party guy; Mommy is the party upper-setter. Thomas is going to the store."
• "My brothers are crazy" & "My brothers are too much"

And now the funniest:

The children are eating breakfast.
I walk across the living room to put something away.
Anna is having waffles with syrup. Anna is not a neat syrup eater. She has already dripped some syrup onto her fishy jammies and taken off her pajama shirt.

As I am returning my thing to it's drawer, from across the room I hear:
"oooh... I love it when things drip down my body..."

Made for a nice morning laugh. Syrup in the belly button. Gotta love it.

Jack's Not Fresh...

he just wants to see your equipment.

Your phone, that is.
And he knows that lots of people keep their's under their shirt, in a little clip attached to their belt. And he wants to see it. So if you come to visit he might, uh, try to lift up your shirt. Apologies in advance. We're working on the problem.

But it is just because he loves phones. He likes pressing buttons. Especially the 'belly' kind of buttons. And he knows that is under your shirt, too.

Med School: What They Don't Want You To Know

from Dr. Anna, as she is about the inject me:

"The band-aid makes the boo boo feel better.
The shot gives you the boo boo."

I always knew there was some kind of conspiracy going on there...

This Will Never Be Topped

Bedtime. I am lying in bed with Anna.
She sticks her hand down the back of her Pull-Up.

"There's something puffy...
it's not poo...

It's a dried rice cake."

Let's Talk Talk

Well... Jack now says "belly button". He is very good at repeating sounds. For instance, I have definitely heard him say "water bottle". But only once. He also says "hello" very clearly. And "An-na!"
Jack says lots and lots of different sounds; he just hasn't quite put them together in a standard format.

Thomas' new words all seem to be in the "oo" (prounounced as in "soon") family. For instance:

• A cow says "moo".
• A monkey says "moo oo oo moo oo oo moo oo oo".
• An owl says "hoooooooo hoooooooo"
• Anything circular that appears roughly near the top of the page in a book, or on the TV, or wherever, is a "ma-moon", aka balloon.
  

But the best is when Thomas & Jack talk to each other. Do you recall how the Japanese people sounded as they fled Godzilla?
That is exactly it.

And I almost forgot. I think I was trying to, actually.
Guess what Anna's favorite new phrase seems to be? Drumroll please...

"wit ya"

On this, I take the 5th.

The Trouble With Wedgies

"It's sticking in my butt!"

Oh.
So that is why Anna is walking around with her hand in her underwear.

Jack: On Eve

Well... this fruit wasn't forbidden, exactly, but he did have to whine for at least a minute before I decided to go for it and give it to him.
He did pretty well; afterwards, the poor apple looked like a family of mice had attacked it.

Ghengis Thom

Right, so remember that whole 'Thomas is an angel' post? Way back in January?
Complete and total hogwash.
Thomas has become... well, another boy entirely.

Let's see:

• I thought it was a nice idea to take Thomas on one of Anna's playdates. Her friend Katharine has a little sister, after all. Thomas kept looking at the little girl like she was some kind of small animal.
  About halfway into the playdate, Thomas finally walked up to her (she was seated), leaned down until his face was less than a foot away, and proceeded to smack her on the head. I was astonished. And he did this multiple times.
• Soon after showing off his playdate behavior, Thomas started to rap Jack on ears. It's almost like he uses him as heavy bag. He slaps at one ear, then he goes to the other, and back and forth several times. Not incredibly hard, but still...
  Even more surprising is that it takes Jack quite a while to get mad about it. As I move to intervene, I've seen Jack take 5 or 6 good hits before starting to complain. Thomas thinks it's funny.
• Thomas really likes to throw things. I took an incoming Magneato in the forehead the other morning and decided that our "encouraging basketball skills with soft, squishy balls" strategy had to change. Thomas can't tell the difference between soft things to throw and hard things to hang onto (ok fair enough, but I mainly think he doesn't want to). He will stand next to a bin of blocks, select one, throw it, and repeat until the bin is empty. He also dumps everything!
• Thomas enjoys walking around the apartment with a little Fisher-Price horse in his hand. He'll walk up to someone, thrust it right into their face (in the case of Jack), or at their waist (for the rest of us), and growl as loud as he can.
  It's like he is trying to scare us or something. And if he hadn't succeeded in scaring Jack a few times, the whole thing would be hilarious; when Thomas gets into his "horse scaring" mood, he just keeps going from one victim to the next. He walks around the room, shoving horses in people's faces and growling.
• Ever wonder what that red button in the elevator does?
  Well, Thomas has managed to press it three times.
  Big noise.
  Big.

None of this is done in anger. Thomas thinks all of it is funny. He will flash the most brilliant smile as you tell him 'No'.
And then he will give me the 'new-new-new-new-new' (no no no no no) with a smile and a finger wag as I put him in time-out. Which doesn't bother him very much, either.

As I write this it occurs to me that maybe some of this is just 'boy' behavior. Well, maybe it is. But try to explain that to the doorman downstairs who's already called the fire department.
[OK I admit that fortunately that has not yet happened, but clearly it's something I worry about. And it sounded funny.]

In some ways, Thomas does seem like quite a classic boy. He has, actually, ceased picking up and throwing the tracks for his Thomas trains and now really enjoys pushing the engines (with his index finger only) around the track, especially under the tunnel.

And Thomas loves loves loves to read. Honestly, I think Thomas' favorite thing to do is to pick a book off the shelf, sit in your lap, and have you read to him. If he has a dedicated lap, he will do this for at least half an hour (which is a lot of preschooler books). And he is happy to look at them on his own, as well. Very similar to Anna, in this regard.

I keep telling him: "T, you won't be able to get by on those looks forever..." And then he smiles at me, grabs a book, and sits in my lap. What a guy.

CBGB, circa 1979

As Neil Young once said:

Hey hey, my my
[punk] Rock and roll can never die
There's more to the picture
Than meets the eye

Well: in this case, the rest of the picture includes their sister waving a yellow blanket over their heads. Static electricity, and all that.

But still--I wonder what they'll be like as teenagers?