The Fork & The "It" Bag

Unrelated? I think not.

To Jack especially, I get the sense that utensils, particularly forks, seem a bit like a fashion accessory you just have to have. They are shiny and interesting and sometimes even have a cool (Thomas the Tank Engine or Dora) logo on them, but when it comes right down to it--and our metric is calories ingested per effort expended to get them in--Jack definitely feels that forks are not all that effective. Especially when compared to his hand.
I mean, Jack enjoys holding his fork. All meal long. Often the fork will still be clean by the end of it.

Sigh.
Sometimes I feel table manners are a bit hopeless. Some recent brother behavior:

• I'm sitting next to Jack. Jack spikes me in the arm with his fork.
  Before I can even take a breath to let loose with the discipline thing, his face completely changes (cue angelic smile), and he kisses my elbow. Then he just grins.
  
• Jack likes to eat bananas the 'real' way. I start him off and peel it half way.
  The other day he was eating one. He got this mischevious look on his face, picked up the floppy end of a peel--of course dislodging the banana's bottom half in the process--and started to make his vacuum sound as he wiped the "nozzle" of the peel all over his plate.
• Continuing on the "pretending food is a household object" track: one morning Jack, after peering into his bowl for some time, selected a single, quite (unusually!) large Raisin Bran flake, smiled, held it up to his ear and said 'Hello!'.
  
• Jack loves oatmeal. A lot. Can't get enough fast enough to satisfy him.
  In fact, he eats it with his hands! Both. It is not a pretty sight.
• Once at the table, Jack will take anything he can reach.
  Anna's napkin, Anna's fishstick, Thomas' cup--if it isn't actively being guarded, Jack will take it.
• Jack has this idea that the best position to be in while you are dining (in terms of digestion, of course) is to be seated with one foot up on the table. Just one. He tries to convince us of this every few days. So far we're not buying it.

Finally: some Thomas table stuff. Actually, compared to Jack, Thomas could consult on the Dining chapter of the next Peggy Post manners book. He's a superstar.

• When Thomas wants more, he uses his baby sign for more. Agressively. Over his head. Like he is clapping at a Bon Jovi concert. But at least it is clear, and his plate never leaves the table in an uncontrolled manner.
  
• When Thomas is enjoying what he is eating, he does this little Stevie Wonder head bopping dance at the table. It's really cute.
  

--

ps Alternative title to this post that I just can't let go of:
When Aesop Met Simon Doonan

Now, that is one fable I would love to read in the Observer.