Why Thomas Is Smarter Than I Am

(1) Because 5 minutes into his first ever preschool interview, the director announced he was a genius. I had never seen Thomas hold a crayon such as he did on that day.
Like a 5 year old would, the director said.
Highly unusual for a 1 year old. I nodded solemnly and in agreement.

Thomas sat in front of his paper and selected his crayons and began to draw. He drew lines, he drew squigglies, he drew zig-zags, up-downs, and near circles. He tried out different colors; he tried out different ends of the crayon.
When told to stop drawing on the table, he immediately returned to the paper.

(2) Because he sees Ma-Moons (aka Balloons) wherever he goes.

Thomas holds up his toy stethoscope by the ear parts and declares 'ma-moon!'.
(Get it? the ear parts , when touching each other, form the "balloon" and the dangly part that goes on your chest is the balloon's "string")

Thomas places a Magneto ball on top of two other Magneto sticks and declares 'ma-moon!'.

I draw a cat face on a piece of paper for him. Whiskers, ears, everything. Thomas looks at it, draws a single line from the bottom of the cat's face down to the edge of the paper. Thomas declares 'ma-moon!'.

(3) Because he has a fantastic tummy, and when he walks he always leads with it.

(4) Because he can slam dunk a toy basketball into our 'dishdrawer' dishwasher.
Impressive, if also slightly annoying.

Oh, Superman!

I just knew you'd come!

(Anna channelling Lois Lane on the way to the park.)

Well, We Made It To The Parking Lot

...of the Bronx Zoo today. Literally, we were next in line in the car to pay to enter the zoo.
And then Jack threw up.
Sigh.
He seems to be able to go about 20 minutes max in the car; then it all just comes out.
And now he remembers--when he saw the car this morning, he started to scream.

I guess this means we can never, ever live anywhere with Jack except NYC.
Or an even more sobering thought: I don't even think we can make it to JFK to fly anywhere.
And, as Daddy pointed out, I don't know how we'll ever be able to get rid of this car. Thus far no amount of deodorization has provided satisfactory results.

Oh, well. Despite the fact that we had come prepared for car sickness (bucket, wipes, towels, etc), neither of us thought to bring Jack an extra pair of clothes. Let's just say it was a good thing that this was the first day since last year where you could be comfortable running around in a shirt and a diaper.

I, however, did not have that option.
Did I mention that Jack threw up a second time once I had unbuckled him and put him on my lap?

Oh, yes.

Anna, at least, had settled upon a clear strategy for this kind of thing:
"If Jack throws up on me, I'm going to throw up on him back!"

Thomas Can Blow His Nose

All by himself.
Really: he holds the tissue, blows and wipes.

Now, if anyone has any suggestions about how to get him to stop eating the Kleenex afterwards, please email me.

[note: we don't actually let him eat it. but he always tries.]

Uh, Make That a Double

There are times when you just know that one Elmo Punch juice box is not going to get it done.

A Portrait of the Artists...

as preschoolers and toddlers.
Ho-hum. Just another day in the studio.

Mikimoto? Gerber?

I could think of more than a few proud sponsors for this photo...

Why Anna Is Smarter Than I Am

[Part two of a three-part series. See the first installment here.]

Because she asks questions like:
"Mommy, why does 'Sit down!' and 'Sit up!' mean the same thing?"

And it takes me a good five minutes to get an answer together.
For such blatant opposites, there is a surprising amount of sublety involved there. I was impressed.

Approaching Infinity

... from the preschooler side of things.

Snippet of conversation between Anna and I, as I try to reinforce the concepts of value, larger, and smaller:
Me: So, Anna, if I asked you if you want 11 Hershey's Kisses or 12 Hershey's Kisses, which would you choose?
Anna: [giggling] 12!

She likes this game. Eventually, we get to her choosing between 28 Hershey's Kisses and 29 Hershey's Kisses. She makes the correct choice, and then asks me why 29 is the. biggest. number.

I tell her (in my best algebra teacher voice) that there is no 'biggest number', that we can always think of a number that is one larger than the one we have. Feeling that I am on solid intellectual footing here (trust me: this is nothing compared to the 'heaven' discussions we have had), I proceed with my "Well, what's a bigger number than 29? Thirty!" and so on and so on examples.

After a few of these she looks at me:
"Yeah, Mommy, ok, but what number is the roof?"

Which I thought was a pretty cool way of putting it.

Vitruvi-Anna Man

Think Da Vinci, think the circles.
Anna is now very much into detail when it comes to drawing. Brains, hair, ears, fingers, toes--they're all usually there.
All right. Let's do the tour.

The Balloon Period
The top one at left is of Anna and Mommy holding balloons in a little bit of wind.
The bottom picture is of Mommy holding a balloon (note the use of fingers) while lots of wind is blowing all around her. The lower circle is where you blow the balloon up. Anna signed this one in a seperate circle towards the bottom right. In a very original, mirror-like way.
It is generally agreed that this period has its genesis in the influence of her balloon-crazy brother, Tommy.

The Intestine Period
For a few weeks, Anna would not leave these internal organs out of any drawing she considered 'finished'
Not after we ordered a book about the human body from the Scholastic Book Order.
(Remember? The book order you did through your elementary school. Before Amazon, this was a big deal. At least to me.)

Evidently, the digestion/intestines page made the biggest impression on Anna. She was including them in all her drawings of humans and still points them out wherever squiggly lines are found. In some of the funniest places.

(Really, go ahead: look for some on the Passenger Safety Information Card next time you're on a plane.
And also on the 'Plastic Man' superhero stamp now available from the post office. As in:
[whiny voice] "But Mooooommy, we need to get the intestinnnnnnnnnnnes stamps...")

Sadly, there are currently no known examples from this period in existence.

The 'Scapes' Period
(Scapes being my shorthand for any type of outdoor scene on a grand scale. Click on the image for a larger view.)

The first drawing is of Jack, Mommy, and Thomas standing on mountains. When I asked her why she hadn't drawn herself, she told me that I couldn't see her because she was taking the picture.

The second drawing is tentatively titled 'Under the Sea'. Note the waves at the top, octopus in the middle, and various crocodile- and sqirrel-like fish swimming about.

The third picture is a double 'scape', of sorts. The bottom is Mommy scuba diving. Note my horizontal position, helmet and air hose. The top part is Anna in space. When I asked her what all the up and down lines across her legs are, she told me those were her 'space leggings'. Fashion forward, as always. Originally she had told me that she was going to draw her and I scuba diving together. When I asked her why she didn't draw herself under the water as well, she told me:
"I didn't draw me, Mommy, because you were too big. So I went on a planet mission." Oh.

The final drawing is of a horse and some other creatures. I like the tail, ears, and legs. And large smile.

A Bit of Brother Yin and Yang

Thomas throws sand.
Jack eats it.

Let's be honest: neither wins them a lot of friends on the playground.
Oh, and you've heard of snow angels? Thomas really loves to make sand angels.

But the good news is, they both can now do air guitar.
Maybe to you it looks more like scratching their tummy than strumming a tune, but we know the truth. Just a little something to add to their arsenal of party tricks :)


Oh, and on the advice of Uncle Wesley they've recently started taking CNBC very seriously.

What a Preschool Teacher Said To Me

"Anna was a bit upset today. I thought she had to go to the bathroom, so I asked her about it. Anna told me I have to make a poo. I ate a lot of food and now it's stuck in my butt."

It is moments such as these that make you want to be an educator, is it not?
--
Other bathroom related anecdotes:

Anna needed help getting 'unstuck' from the toilet seat. When I got to the bathroom she told me:

"Someone's pulling my butt into the potty! [pause...]
It's my fish."

Uh, that would be the fish that we had flushed into fish heaven a few weeks ago.

Anna has learned the concept of the women's bathroom and the men's bathroom. One day at the pizza place the door to the women's bathroom was locked. I explained this was because there was only one toilet in there, and someone was using it.
She thought about this for a moment.
It was at that point she started to hollar "Get out! Get out! Get out!" very loudly.

Almost forgot: as of 5 nights ago, Anna wears underwear at night. She decided to. So far, so good.

Things I Didn't Know Before I Was A Mom

(by no means an exhaustive list, just things that occurred to me recently...)

• conjunctivitus = pink eye. Recently I threw that big word around a few times as if it was the equivalent of, say, tuberculosis or something. Nope. Pink eye.
  
• A rooster is a male chicken. A hen is a female chicken.
• Infections (like pneumonia) can have bacterial or viral causes. Still a little hazy on the specifics. Definitely should google that one. Very fortunately, haven't really needed to.

More to come, I'm sure.

Man Discovers Fire

(to the strains of "The Blue Danube"...)

Thomas is sitting on the Aquadoodle mat.
Thomas draws a circle.
Thomas points to it, looks up and says 'ball!'.
Thomas smiles.

The Passenger Safety Information Card

You know, the thing tucked right in front of the barf bag in the seat pocket in front of you.
Ever actually read it (or for that matter, even wanted to touch it)?
That's OK, you can just ask Anna about it.

Anna's interpretation of the scenes depicted on that glossy trifold card were truly unbelievable. For the benefit of her daughter, Blue, who was travelling with us, Anna went over that card from beginning to end. Extremely loudly. And in much, much more detail than the airline steward-people could ever dream of. Oh how I wished for a simple, old fashioned tape recorder! I managed to write a few things down: (say... as a fun way to pass the time, next time you're on a plane see if you can match these to the scenes on the card :)

• if a car comes, we need to stop the plane.
• you have to wear a coat.
• be safe.
  
• no throwing. and no throwing up!
  
• you have to stay close with your Mommy else we will take you somewhere else
• you have to take a picture
  

Some of these I get, some I do not. This went on for at least 10 minutes. It was like a stand-up comedy routine. Except that she was extremely serious about educating Blue about our plane. Finally, when she was satisfied, she folded up the card and put it away. And then...

"So... Mommy, are we blasting off soon?"

You Talkin' To Me?

Yes?

Then you're talking to my brother, too.

And that's sippy cup.
Sippy.
S-i-p-p-y.
Got it? 'Sissy' has nothing to do with it...

On The Road With Anna

Anna and I went to Rochester to say goodbye to my Grandma. It is a trip no one ever wants to make, but Anna, as usual, always makes the best out of things.
Even when she has no idea she is doing it.
--

To make a long story short: our first attempt to get to Rochester involved driving with all three of the children. Jack made short work of that idea by managing to throw up twice before we crossed the George Washington Bridge. At that point, Mommy unilaterally invoked (at least the idea of a) Plan B. After an extended cleanup at a Palisades Parkway rest stop, the family car did a quick U-turn back towards the relatively rose-scented shores of Manhattan.

Which is why Anna and I ended up flying to Rochester and coming back the next day. She said some truly amazing things:

• Overheard by everyone standing in the very, very long line at the Jet Blue women's bathroom:
  
  "Hold your pee, Mommy, it's not our turn!"
  
  She said this very, very loudly.
  This after complaining for at least five minutes about (1) the fact that she did NOT have to go to the bathroom and then following it up with (2) the fact that there was a line. And then she tried to make me look like the flaky one.
  
  
• For a brief, very brief moment, I thought that, perhaps, Anna favoring Jack might be waning a bit. As it turns out, Anna was just being practical, and is still very much partial.
  
  "I want to travel with just Thomas.
  [Wow! all right! I am good!]
  Because he doesn't get 'the sickness' in the car."
  
  
• And then, back to old form as far as Jack. But this time on the sly:
  
  "Hey Mommy, I am very good at carrying around dark-haired little boys..."
  

--
And then, before bed: "Mommy, I can't find heaven on my globe."
Sigh.

Why Jack Is Smarter Than I Am

(1) It's morning. It's early. Or late. I can't remember.
Anyway, for some reason I am sitting on the floor with my bowl of Grape Nuts watching Thomas and Jack watch Blues Clues.

This, of course, lasts for about 5 seconds, at which point the brothers get a whiff of that (surprisingly aromatic) cold cereal. They pounce. They both love Grape Nuts. We do the communal spoon thing. Quite a bonding moment. Tiny Grape Nut nuts everywhere.

After about two spoonfuls, Jack stops and runs to the kitchen. I hear a drawer open. I hear rustling in the 'kid tableware' drawer. Cups are tumbling. Bowls are clanking.
At this point, I choose to apply what I refer to as my '3-child-Zen-groggy-brain' technique (thank you, Uma), in the form of:
Hmnnn, what's the worse that could happen?

... and just try to enjoy the sound of plastic cups and spoons being scattered about.
After a while, I hear the drawer close.
Then Jack is back. He hands me one of Anna's breakfast trays (think multiple compartments for cereal, yogurt, fruit, etc) and points to the table. Good idea, buddy.

(2) Have you read Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do you Hear?
I was reading it to the boys the other night. When we got to the page about the hippopotamus, I read it with the usual gusto. Did you know that "the sound" that hippos make is a 'snort'? Yep. And so I dutifully did my best snort.
And then, for the first time ever, Jack looked at me, literally tossed his head back, and delivered an absolutely perfect 'snort-snort'.
He was really proud of himself; it was cute. I just really hope this doesn't mean that he is going to be one of those guys who tries to impress girls by burping.

(3) We were just snapping photos at the playgroud one day. I didn't notice anything unusual. Tonite I happened to be looking at the photos and, of course, this sequence caught my eye.

On behalf of Anna, I think I need to explain--Anna is a champion layerer. In this photo, she is wearing a sweater, a dress, a shirt under the dress, tights, pants and a skirt between the dress and the pants. I have no doubt that when she sat down to 'drive the wheel', all that bulk caught up with her and she just moved it to the rear. I have to say that I'm slightly embarrassed that I didn't notice and help her a bit.
But clearly Jack did.
Now I'm not exactly sure if this belongs under the 'Jack is smarter than me (er, I mean I)' heading, but I suppose it at least makes him more observant.
And hopefully not alarmingly fresh as far as the ladies are concerned.

The Racket

Jack and Thomas see something they like.
Something they think is cool.
Jack's the front man; he grabs it when you're not looking. In this categrory might be things like babysitter Meredith's leather belt, or Ella's dad's shoehorn, or the hairclip that Mommy is curently wearing in her hair. They're all his now.

And this is when he passes them over to Tommy, who does the dirty work behind, or in this case "underneath" the scenes--Tommy attempts to shove each of these objects underneath large household furniture or appliances.

Many often never to be heard from again.
Others to be sold on the urbanbaby black market...

And who'd want to mess with these two wiseguys to try to get their stuff back? Not me, I assure you.
(Teddy bear shirt nothwithstanding...)

The (Mon-Wed-Fri) Ladies Of The Brownstone School

I have been meaning to post this sooner, but here they are in all their Princess slipper greatness--Anna and her school buddies.