When It Comes to Blows

Often these days, I feel like Howard Cosell. Here's a typical bout:

• Thomas is playing with a toy.
• Jack snatches the toy from Thomas.
• Thomas tries to take the toy back, but can't get it. Jack is too fast.
  
• Jack teases Thomas.
  Jack shoves the toy into Thomas' face and pulls it back when Thomas goes for it.
• Thomas hisses at Jack.
• Thomas grabs Jack's collar and slams him down onto the floor.
  
• Jack fakes innocence and looks astonished. Whimpers a bit. But he keeps the toy.
• Jack teases Thomas again. Same method.
  
• Thomas grabs a handful of Jack's hair and yanks.
• Jack screams.
• Jack's screaming scares Thomas. Thomas screams.
• Jack and Thomas' screaming upsets Anna. She starts hollaring at both of them.

• Mommy locks herself in the bathroom and says over and over "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."