Random Shout-Outs

Courtesy of Tommy.
If you are in our apartment, don't be too surprised to hear:

"heeeeeeyyyyy, macarena!" or
"here we go Tigers, here we go. woo! woo!"

shouted at the top of his lungs once every hour or so. Especially if he is on the way to the bathroom, or just after finishing a meal. I think they give him strength or something.

Just So You Know

Jack's three favorite words right now are torpedo, booby trap, and drawbridge.
He's not a violent or aggressive child, really. Just well prepared to defend.

So I've been thinking about the fact that Michelangelo designed the fortifications for Rome during its war with Florence.
And so I keep monitoring Jack's artwork (currently stick figure-based) for signs of bulging musculature, or even Mommy and Daddy inscribed inside a circle or a square. Or even just one of us. In some kind of blob.

Nothing yet...

It Has Been A Long, Long Break, eh?

I don't think I had ever missed a month before, and here almost one and a half have gone by. Things have been busy.

But no worries--while I may not have been blogging, I am still writing everything down and plan on doing some massive posting during vacation time this summer. I also have some great photos. So bear with me... it's coming. I won't let this go.

Tactics

Jack, trying to avoid having his diaper changed:
"I got gas Mommy."
Oh.

Thomas, trying to avoid anything he doesn't particularly want to do:
"It's too spicy."
As in:

• Thomas, do you want to use the blue train instead of the yellow one?
  "No. It's too spicy."
• Thomas, do you want to watch Sesame Street?
  "No. Too spicy."
• Thomas, are you going to eat your corn?
  "No. It's too spicy."
  

I have no idea what 'spicy' actually means to this kid.
But I think it would be really, really funny to try his technique for a day and see what happens.

Optical Delusions

• Me: "Jack, why are you eating with your eyes closed?"
  "I hiding, Mommy!"
  

• Jack, doing something he should not be doing:
  "Close your eyes, Mommy. I don't want to see you."
  

Great.
I can just picture the CAT scan with the "unapologetic believer in his ability to disappear and walk through walls" part of the brain lit up like a Christmas tree. And here I was hoping to avoid the Green Lantern underoos phase.
Hopefully he'll grow out of this by the time he's 3. or 12.

It Isn't Love

...unless your eyeballs pop out.

But we've known that for some time now.

Should I Be Concerned?

Dinner time. Anna is fidgeting like crazy. I am sure she is going to fall off of her chair.
I ask her what's going on. Does something hurt?

"No Mommy, there's just music in my head and it's makin' me shake!"
Hmmmn. I have no idea how to respond to this.

And then out comes the most rousing rendition of Ba Ba Black Sheep I have ever heard.
(And let me tell you: I have attended a lot of preschooler music classes.)

A different dinner time. Anna is finishing her dinner.
Anna is thinking. And then:
"Mommy, my tummy is REALLY big and I just heard a 'Neigh'!"
[from inside of it]

Have I mentioned that Anna really, really wants a horse?

Jack Talks Back

The first installment of what I am coming to believe will be a long and ongoing series.

• Jack, here's your water.
  "I want cold water Mommy."
  Jack, that water is cold. I just got it from the refrigerator.
  "It's not cold Mommy. It's just... normal."
  
  
• Jack! Don't put that hose around your neck!
  "Its OK Mommy, it's my seatbelt."
  
  
• "Tommy is MY little brother. I GROWED!"
  

This Just In

"Mommy!
Did you know there is a meal
called dessert
in the middle of the night
that we keep missing???"

Ever the problem solver in these difficult times, Anna quickly drafted and announced a three point plan that includes:

• cupcakes
• after lunch
• every day

as a way of addressing this situation.

Anna: Big Box Retailing

"It's like an apartment that sells things and nobody lives in..."
You heard it here, kids. Isaac Mizrahi will not be cool forever.

Culture Shock

Ah, memories of our first big attempt at the Met with all three. I love that the boys look like their heads are going to explode. We lasted about 50 minutes.

Highlights include Thomas almost pushing Jack into the Temple of Dendur's pool. I think Thomas was worried that someone else's kid might make it under the rope and into the water and scoop up all those pennies before he had a chance.
But no, mine was the only one that really seemed to be trying.

I Believe This Conversation Went Something Like

"YOU Dirty!"
"NO! YOU Dirty!"
"No no! YOU Dirtier!"
And so on.

Isn't it great they're getting older and more able to express themselves?

Why Unicorns Are White. And A Corollary.

(Or at least, why pretend unicorns are always white.)

"Because unicorns eat cucumbers.
Inside cucumbers it is white.
The white explodes out to their skin."

Hmmm, OK, I follow that.
But what about the skin of the cucumber? That's not white.

"Well... the green is the unicorn poo."

Oh.

So Mommy Took A Trip

to her friend Lilly's wedding in Arizona. Gwammy came to stay while I was gone.
The kids were excited for Gwammy to come. I was excited that they were excited.
I also wanted them to behave.
Which led to this little cheer at dinner the night before I was to leave:

Me to the kids [in cheerleader voice]: "So, guys, how are we going to act when Gwammy gets here???"
[...dramatic pause...]
Anna, right on cue: "GOOD! We're going to act GOOD!"

My heart swelled. Yes! This was going to be great. Fine, even.
All right! Now let me follow that up with a big positive-reinforcing YAY! and then we'll...

Anna:"... and then a little bit crazy once she leaves."

Yeah, she's totally got this Mommy going away thing down.
Which also leads to phone conversations where, immediately after sniffling and telling me how much she misses me she composes herself just enough to pitifully inquire:
"...uh, Mommy... are you looking for some special things for us...?"

As hard as it is to be "on call" for them all the time, it was much tougher to be away. I missed them so much. I'm glad A was there with some material girl-esque comic relief.
And just as soon as I recovered from the double ear infections that I got when my ears didn't unplug on the flight home and the kids' leftover pink eye I picked up the day I returned to NYC, I was very very glad to be back.

Dem Bones Dem Bones

Lately, Anna has been interested in bones. So we read a book about the bones in our body. She liked the page that showed a full skeleton. She knew where the skull was, and saw some long arm bones.

And then she continued down the anatomy:
"And then there's the butt bone..."
"And the two butt cheek bones...."
Just like they teach it in med school, no doubt.

A few days later she was in the bath staring at Jack's back.
"Mommy, what are all these little mountains that go down to Jack's butt?"
I believe she was referring to his spine.

Did I mention how much I love the poetic value inherent in "little mountains that go down to his butt..."?
I feel as though some kind of 'native American chiropractor' joke would be appropriate right now, but I don't have one.

Anna's First Real Joke

Mommy wiping Thomas' nose:
"Wow T... look at this mess. What is going on? Look at all these boogers!"

Anna:
"Yeah, it's like... Grand Central Boogers in there!"

See?
Come on! That's pretty witty for a four year old.

Thomas' Got a Brand New Game

Anna: "Thomas, what's you favorite color: red or yellow?"
Thomas: [hesitates. looks around. rolls his eyes up. hesitates again. smiles.] "Train."

Anna: "Thomas! What is your favorite color?!"
Thomas: [same routine: hesitate. eyes. hesitate. smile] "Mommy."

Anna: "Thomas! TELL ME your favorite color!"
Thomas: [completely in control. just waits. grins.] "Boat."

And on and on and on and on.

Raising Mike Mulligan (or MaryAnne)

Anna pulling Thomas (on all fours with a tape measure in his mouth):
"I'm bringing Thomas to the new town hall where he is going to live tonight."

Well. At least she seems to be willing to let him leave after one night.

Au Cafe

Sigh.
It's not a bad life, eh?

C-A-N-D-Y, Mommy! Candy!

That is all Jack could utter in the midst of his sugar-coated joy.
That would be a sweet tart in Jack's mouth. He got it out of an egg at the Easter Egg hunt in Central Park. Hopefully his own.

It was his first sweet tart ever.